Tag: dark comedy

The Savages (2007): A Mature Film about Aging, Caregiving and Death

About a month ago, I rented a movie called The Savages from the library. The movie is not to be confused with the ultra-violent crime thriller Savages, which came out in 2012 and was directed by William Oliver Stone (I cannot watch it. Too gory.)

I remember hearing about The Savages when I was in middle school, but I was too young to see it. It is rated R. However, now that I am an adult and have gone through my own personal experiences with loss and grief, I appreciate that I waited to watch this movie. Common Sense Media recommended this movie for ages 17 and up due to its mature themes, and there is some truth to that recommendation. As a kid, I don’t know if I would have had much appreciation for this kind of movie. I was not very knowledgeable or aware about caregiving and aging when I was younger, but now I am dealing with the loss of many friends of mine who were seniors.

The Savages is a black comedy-drama directed by American filmmaker Tamara Jenkins, and it begins in a senior living community in hot and sunny Arizona. A caregiver, while looking out for an elderly woman, is telling an elderly man named Lenny Savage to clean up after himself. The elderly man is stubborn and refuses, but then the caregiver threatens him, so the elderly man says he will flush the toilet. However, when the caregiver comes in, he finds that the man has written an obscenity on the wall with his own excrement. The care facility calls Wendy Savage and tells her that her father, Lenny, has written a curse word on the wall with his own excrement. Wendy, a struggling playwright, is in the middle of sending out her plays to fellowships in hopes that she will receive the funding needed to make the plays happen (and take care of herself in the process, because living in New York City is expensive.) However, this news about her dad’s behavior sends her into a panic, and she calls her brother, Jon, who she hasn’t spoken with in years, to tell him what’s going on with their dad. Jon is a college professor living in Buffalo, New York, and he is also trying to maintain a relationship with a woman from Poland whose visa is going to expire. Wendy is sleeping with an older married man. As Lenny’s health declines, the two siblings, while navigating their own rocky relationship with each other, must decide whether to keep him in a nursing home or let him stay in his own home until the end of his life.

There is a pretty poignant scene that resonates with me more now that I am older and have had people in my life who are dear friends to me die in their 70s and 80s. At a diner, Jon and Wendy ask their dad whether he wants to be resuscitated or not when he is dying, and the dad barks at them, “JUST UNPLUG ME, DAMMIT!” as if that was the most obvious outcome for the end of his life. It shows how hard approaching death is for Lenny, especially since his girlfriend died. The film also gets complicated because Wendy and Jon find out that their father cannot continue to stay in his late girlfriend’s house because he was not put on the deed to the house so he does not own it. Wendy and Jon both have very different outlooks on death. I think Jon, like Wendy, is grieving his father’s decline and imminent passing, but he sees it for what it is, not as a smooth transition but an ugly unforgiving event. Wendy wants her dad to stay home, and at least, if he has to go to a nursing home, she wants him to stay at the finest nursing home. The siblings also come to understand that they did not have a very good childhood with their dad. They did not get to reminisce over their childhood memories with their dad. I think growing up, they had a dysfunctional family and did not have a lot of deep connection with their parents growing up. I think the scene where Lenny tells Jon and Wendy to unplug him reminded me of when my parents went over their estate planning with me, and I did not take it seriously enough or approach it in an emotionally mature way at first. I had this deluded idea that my parents would always be there to provide emotional and financial support for me forever, but after reading essays and lectures by a Japanese educator and philosopher named Daisaku Ikeda (1928-2023) about the Buddhist view of birth and death, I started to think about my own mortality and how I wanted to spend the last few years of my life. I developed a more sobering perspective on the passing of loved ones and the reality that I, too, am not immortal and will die at some point. From a Buddhist perspective, our life force continues even after our physical form as humans is no longer alive. We tap this dormant life force from within us by chanting the title of this Buddhist teaching called The Lotus Sutra. The title is Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, which we believe in the Buddhist community is the law of the universe and all life, and also that Nam-myoho-renge-kyo exists in us even after we pass away. It is an eternal law from time without beginning and has no expiration date.

Honestly, if I did not have the Buddhist view of life and death as the foundation for my outlook on things, I think this movie would have made me fearful of aging and death. But from the Buddhist perspective, death is one of the four sufferings that humans go through, the first three being birth, aging and sickness. I feel fortunate to have grown up in a religious community where I was around not just other young people, but also elderly people. Many of my friends in the Buddhist community belong to the Many Treasures Group, which is for seniors ages 65 and older. The Many Treasures Group studies Daisaku Ikeda’s writings about birth, aging, sickness and death and how we can transform these sufferings into causes for our enlightenment in this lifetime, without having to undergo austere practices lifetime after lifetime in order to finally attain our Buddhahood, or enlightened nature, only when we die. Every time I talk with the Many Treasures members, they are joyful and sincere and they always encourage the young people in our community whenever they are going through rough times. I remember in 2016 when I was feeling suicidal and hopeless about my life, I got the chance to support behind-the-scenes for memorial services at the local Buddhist center. There were no heavy formalities at these services. Everyone just came to pay their respects to their friends who passed away and shared fond memories of participating in activities at the Buddhist center with them. They encouraged me to study about the Buddhist perspective of birth and death, and even though I still of course go through those five stages of grief when someone I love dies, I know that their life force is eternal and that I can chant for their eternal happiness even after they are gone. If Jon and Wendy Savage were real-life people instead of movie characters, I would have told them about the Buddhist perspective of life and death, not to get rid of their grief, but to give them another view from which to look at their father’s aging and death that is more encouraging.

Movie Review: Zola (CW: brief description of nudity)

August 1, 2021

Omg I have been dying to see this movie since the trailer came out! So I finally saw it. At first I didn’t want to see it because they said there was full-frontal male nudity and I was kind of squeamish about viewing it. So the first time I watched it, to be honest, I missed a lot of important scenes throughout the film because I couldn’t find any parent previews for it (which I usually read before watching PG-13 or R-rated features because I’m not into bloody stuff or jump scenes.) But also I didn’t get super surprised during the film because I had read up a lot about the film before seeing it, and watched a couple of interviews with the actors in Zola who talked about their characters, so I knew what was going to happen. And I read the Wikipedia page on it. So I finally watched it a second time without closing my eyes (except during the penis montage, although A24 does have an interesting article on their blog about how they chose the penises for that montage.)

So basically Zola is about this young Black woman named A’ziah “Zola” King, who works as an exotic dancer at night and has a waitressing job during the day. Janizca Bravo directed the film and wrote the screenplay, and the real life A’ziah “Zola” King produced the film. The film is based off of a real-life Twitter story that King told on October 27, 2015 in 148 tweets about how she met a young white woman at the diner she worked at, and how this young white woman, whose real name is Jessica but whose name in the film is Stefani, finds common ground with King because they work as exotic dancers. After they hit it off the first night (they follow each other on social media) Stefani texts her and tells her about this cute spot in Florida where they can make good money dancing. When Zola asks for more information, Stefani refuses to tell her any more details other than her boyfriend and a friend are coming along, too. We see how Stefani’s friendship is already taking up a huge chunk of Zola’s time because Zola’s fiancé, Sean, constantly has to deal with Zola texting Stefani all the time instead of spending time in the present moment with him. When Zola meets up with Stefani, she already has a sense that something is off, and the minute they hit the road it slowly becomes clear that Zola does not want to be there. I think one scene in particular shows this very clearly. Even after X, Derrek (Stefani’s boyfriend), Stefani and Zola have a good time singing “Hannah Montana” by Migos, soon after the scene cuts to Stefani loudly talking about this Black woman she met in a derogatory way, and Derrek, not knowing what to do, chimes in, while Zola looks uncomfortable and silently stares out the window.

In a couple of interviews I watched, Riley Keough, the actress who plays Stefani, was aware of Stefani’s racism and cultural appropriation and how her exploitation of Black culture, namely through her “blaccent,” was offensive. But Bravo encouraged her to go full out for Stefani in order to tell the story like it is. A character like Stefani honestly wasn’t new to me; I knew many white people who spoke in AAVE whenever I was around, and even one time I was in the car with some folks who weren’t Black and “Holy Grail” came on, and a couple of the folks decided to repeat the N word that comes up every time Jay-Z raps his verse in the song. And like Zola, all I could do was just turn away and look out the window. Even when the folks asked if I was doing okay, I couldn’t tell them because I didn’t want to seem like I was coming off as an angry, oversensitive person. The main theme I kept thinking about as I watched Zola was boundaries, because the issue of boundaries is prevalent throughout the film. Zola tells X she came with a specific purpose: to dance, but he tells her she is not there for that. Stefani keeps telling her male clients that she doesn’t set the price for her services, but this does her a disservice, mainly because she and Zola get in trouble when Zola sets her up a new page and has Stefani negotiate her pay. X accuses Zola of trying to outdo him, to do his job better than him, and persuades Stefani that she doesn’t deserve any of the $8,000 she made from her clients, and somehow makes it seem that her body is just a tool for men and that she shouldn’t get paid for the services she provides.

But if Zola taught me anything, it’s this: know your worth. It’s easier said than done, but Zola knows who she is and is a really good bullshit detector. She knows that Stefani, Derrek and X don’t have her best interest at heart, and that they are out to exploit her. Which is why Stefani’s side of the story had me busting up in laughter, because we know that Zola’s story is the only true point of view we should be trusting. In the @Stefani portion of the film, where Stefani recounts everything that went down on reddit, she portrays herself as this upright Christian woman who was just randomly approached by this Black woman who coerced Stefani into going to Florida. While she explains the story wearing a white suit, she shows Zola with twigs in her hair while waitressing and wearing black trash bags when going into the car to head to Florida. I just guffawed because Stefani’s side of the story is clearly problematic. I read on the Wikipedia page of this film that the movie is listed as a black comedy. For those who don’t know, black comedy is a genre which pokes fun at subjects that are hard to talk about, such as death, crime, suicide, discrimination and other serious topics. Even though Zola went through severe trauma on the trip to Florida, the way Stefani spins it is so ridiculous that it’s hard not to laugh at her side of the story because all she tries to do is portray Zola as this obnoxious Black woman, when Zola is the only level-headed one on the trip.

Because she is level-headed, X (Stefani’s pimp, played by Colman Domingo. Honestly, I love Coleman Domingo’s acting. He played Tish’s dad in If Beale Street Could Talk, the complete opposite of his evil character X in Zola.) often makes Zola the mom, the one to babysit Stefani and Derrek. It’s interesting that X, like Zola, is Black because it makes me think of the term misogynoir, which is misogyny against Black women. Even when Zola is trying to help Stefani by helping to negotiate her worth, X doesn’t want to give Zola credit, and even when he gives Zola some of the money, he doesn’t let her go home and instead orders her to make Stefani do what she did the previous night and exhaust herself by having sex with various clients. He refuses to let her take a much-needed break relaxing in the sun. Whenever she questions his authority and makes it clear that she’s not going to stoop to his level, he threatens her with physical violence and that Nigerian accent he pulls off when he’s really pissed off.

Derrek was also an interesting character. He ends up telling about the group’s whereabouts to someone who doesn’t have his best interests at heart. He also keeps trying to make Zola laugh by showing her funny videos, but she doesn’t fall for any of it. He is fed up with his girlfriend Stefani partaking in prostitution, and is sick of her manipulating other young women into what is essentially human trafficking. Whenever he brings this up, she goes to him and points to his chest, and asks “Whose is this?” and he tells her “yours.” and when she points to her heart and asks “Whose is this?” and he tells her “mine.” Even though he is scared he still goes along with whatever Stefani does because he feels he has no other choice because he really does love her and just wants to go back home with her.

Honestly, I’m glad I watched it twice because I missed a lot of key details of the film by closing my eyes throughout it. Like, Mica Levi’s score lines up with each scene in a different way, so it was hard to see how the score had a different meaning for each scene just because I was scared of some random scene with a lot of dicks in it. Also, Zola doesn’t say much, but she communicates a lot without having to say much during the film. Her eyes, her facial expressions, show how she is observant, how she is processing her trauma minute by minute because she doesn’t have time to rest and recuperate and heal. She is constantly babysitting Stefani and Derrek when they get in shenanigans, and it is emotionally exhausting work. By the time she gets in the car with Derrek she is emotionally tried in her patience and Derrek tries to get her mind off of it, but as a young Black woman dealing with a young white woman who has little to no respect for her, she is clearly fed up having to put up with shenanigans.

I honestly wouldn’t mind watching this again. There’s just something so attractive to me about A24 films. When I was watching Zola, it reminded me of when I watched The Florida Project. The actors in both of these films portray real life situations and bring so much magic to the everyday realities of life. I wish I had a more comprehensive review of the film, but I guess I’m still processing it.

Zola. 2021. Rated R for strong sexual content and language throughout, graphic nudity and violence including a sexual assault.