In the city of Angels The palm trees stand Natural green skyscrapers With rough hewn trunks Skinny as poles The hustle and bustle of traffic New York City Only with more mountains People milling about Going to the grocery store Rushing to work Meeting for coffee The city of Angels Who love to crush the sueños Of daydreamers With the noisy bustle of traffic With the smell of smog With the cars rushing past each other at labyrinth intersections Los Angeles LA La La Land Whatever suits your fancy In my mind I like to dance around TCL Chinese Theatre Pretending that I am dancing hand in hand with Ms. Marilyn As she busts out "Heat Wave" Like there's no tomorrow I like to think I am waltzing through celebrity circles at The 98th Academy Awards at the beautiful Dolby Theatre Decked out specially for those who made it in the industry For those who didn't...well, you lost. I like to think my life in L.A. is a classic cinema joint A Spike Lee hallway scene where I'm just moving through The city of Angels like I'm gliding on thin air My heart soars when I think of L.A. But the idea will go kaputz once I actually live there I will no longer entertain innocent dreams of getting autographs, spending time walking the boulevard in peace, and admiring the stars alone with only my imagination to guide me Up the stairs to the Griffith Observatory I like to think my life is one big Beverly Hills Bel Air mansion And that I am going to sashay down those winding premium ivory stairs Dressed in nothing but a bathrobe. My hair coiffed like Marilyn Body so knock-out that the men in their checked suits all check me out in my Hourglass figurine. I like to imaging I am the star going out On a night on the town Going to the LA Phil Putting on a one of a kind show. Then a pigeon poops on my head And I'm knocked back to reality. The angels all went on vacation Now it's just The City.
Blog
Movie List
Here is a list of movies I have watched. Some I have laughed at, others cried at and others had me on the edge of my seat. Some had me feeling all sorts of complicated emotions. I may need to balance out my steady diet of R-rated films for some G or PG ones, since most of the films on this list are R.
- Rent (PG-13)
- Hairspray (PG)
- Hamilton (PG-13)
- West Side Story (original and remake)
- Despicable Me (PG)
- Shrek (PG)
- Onward (PG)
- Ella Enchanted (PG)
- My Cousin Vinny (R)
- Juno (PG-13)
- Pitch Perfect (I only saw the first, haven’t seen the others) (PG-13)
- The Power of the Dog (R)
- Get Out (R)
- It Comes At Night (R)
- Titanic (PG-13)
- A Ghost Story (R)
- Milk (R)
- The Florida Project (R)
- Bridesmaids (R)
- The Favourite (R)
- 12 Years a Slave (R)
- Shaun the Sheep: The Movie (PG)
- Fences (PG-13)
- La La Land (PG-13)
- Moonlight (R)
- The Social Dilemma
- Wasted (Documentary)
- Booksmart (R)
- Frances Ha (R)
- Lady Bird (R)
- The Killing of a Sacred Deer (R)
- The Banshees of Inisherin (R)
- Everything Everywhere All At Once (R)
- Babel (R)
- Pan’s Labyrinth (R)
- Julieta (R)
- Big Fish (PG-13)
- Inside Llewyn Davis (R)
- Vice (R)
- City Island (PG-13)
- Tangled (PG)
- Begin Again (R)
- The Lighthouse (R)
- Roma (R)
- The Lobster (R)
- About a Boy (PG-13)
- The Pianist (R)
- Encanto (PG)
- BlacKkKlansman (R)
- Birdman (R)
- When Harry Met Sally (R)
- The Woman King (PG-13)
- Black Panther (PG-13)
- Get Smart (PG-13)
- A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (PG)
- Spencer (R)
- Black Swan (R)
- The Whale (R)
- The Help (PG-13)
- Remember the Titans (PG)
- Can You Ever Forgive Me? (R)
- Uncut Gems (R)
- Good Time (R)
- I, Tonya (R)
- TAR (R)
- Freedom Writers (PG-13)
- Million Dollar Baby (PG-13)
- Ruby Sparks (R)
- The Big Sick (R)
- Zola (R)
- Ocean’s 8 (PG-13)
- Ocean’s 11 (PG-13)
- Harry Potter film series (PG and PG-13)
- Summer of Soul (PG-13)
- Bowling for Columbine (R)
- Do the Right Thing (R)
- Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (R)
- Nomadland (R)
- Inception (PG-13)
- 1917 (R)
- Dunkirk (PG-13)
- Jojo Rabbit (PG-13)
- Mean Girls (PG-13)
- The Perks of Being a Wallflower (PG-13)
- The Edge of Seventeen (R)
- School of Rock (PG-13)
- Boyhood (R)
- Promising Young Woman (R)
- Away We Go (R)
- The Fabelmans (PG-13)
- Legally Blonde (PG-13)
- American Hustle (R)
- Julie & Julia (PG-13)
- Arrival (PG-13)
- Avatar (PG-13)
- Hustle & Flow (R)
- Save the Last Dance (PG-13)
- Big Eyes (PG-13)
- The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG)
- The Last King of Scotland (R)
- Atonement (R)
- The Secret Life of Bees (PG-13)
- Bridge of Spies (PG-13)
- The Iron Lady (PG-13)
- The Wife (R)
Daily Prompt
It would be hard to get a lot of stuff done without a computer. I probably wouldn’t be able to write this blog without a laptop, but if I just had to make do, I would write on pen and paper just like the old days. I think it would have been harder in 2020 since we had an emergency in place and many if not all people were told not to go out, so many people had to rely on Zoom and other videoconferencing and online tools to communicate. But even during 2020 and before 2020, I remember writing letters to my friends and family. I probably would communicate with mostly pen and paper and the telephone if I didn’t have a computer. I definitely remember a time when I wasn’t using a computer all the time. It wasn’t until I got a little older, maybe around 10 or so, that I started getting on the computer more and playing computer games (gosh, now that I think about it, there were so many great computer games: Zoombinis, Clue Finders, Carmen Sandiego…but I’m going on a tangent.)
But I think about what people did before computers were invented, and I forget that they still somehow managed to communicate with each other through calling on the phone and writing letters, and hell, even walking to someone’s house to communicate a message. I’ve really been reflecting on my own phone and laptop usage and my own history of technology, and I really want to explore this more in depth.
Feelings
I have feelings Everyone has feelings We all have feelings I feel these feelings even when I don't want to feel these feelings These feelings of shame, hurt, frustration, pain, joy, suffering, depression, confusion All well up in the depths of my being They come out at night and haunt me because they feel like doing so I am scared of these feelings I run, race down the hall, while my feelings come at me like a demon in the night Like that creepy neighbor who wants nothing to do but come at you with his knife These feelings make my mind double over in pain They make my heart race They make me feel ungrounded And yet also down to this God-given Earth. I feel these feelings even when I don't want to feel these feelings It is painful to bear this burden as a woman, a Black woman, a human being Feelings make me writhe in pain, thrust me back to a darker time I want to run from these feelings, run, run run But they grab me, twist my head, force me to look them dead in the eyes And dare to ice them with my solid gaze. My feelings rip me to shreds like pulled pork on a barbeque sandwich I become the barbeque sandwich, a mysterious stranger eating me alive I look for an exit There is none The only thing for me to do is to embrace those feelings Force them to disarm themselves and force myself into their arms Giving them a long warm hug Telling them, "It's okay for me to recognize you. You exist. I am only human and can only have you because that is my nature." My feelings release tears of every emotion you can think of. And they finally embrace me. I am one with my feelings And my feelings are one with me.
Americano (written on Sept 6, 2019)
I sit in a peaceful cafe
By the Charles River
Listening to cars belch smoke
Passerby belch lox and bagel fumes
From their tightly tucked in paunches
I order an Americano
And my beverage comes out in a neat little ceramic cup
It is dark as my heart in that cup
It feels what I’m feeling
Pain, loss, suffering, that little coffee
Knows more about my feelings than any AI
robot will ever know.
More than the tall dark and handsome server
Who serves me this edible insight into the
depths of my soul.
Movie Review: The Woman King
Last week I rented The Woman King from the library. It was honestly one of the best movies I have seen. At an awards ceremony called the BAFTAs last year, there was an actress named Ariana DeBose (she was in the Steven Spielberg remake of West Side Story, and she was on fire!) who did a really cool medley of the song “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by The Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin and Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” while dressed in a hot pink jumpsuit. She gave shout outs to many of the female directors and actors in the audience, including Dolly De Leon, Hong Chau, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh. One of the lyrics of her song was “Angela Bassett did the thing/ Viola Davis, my woman king” and I didn’t appreciate the significance of this until I saw Angela Bassett as Queen Ramonda in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. I am still sad that she didn’t win the Best Supporting Actress role (of course Jamie Lee Curtis, who won the award, was great, too, in Everything Everywhere All At Once) but I still think she played her role so well. And then when I finally saw Viola Davis in The Woman King, I was like, “Oh yeah now I appreciate the song lyric “Viola Davis, my woman king.” Because after the movie, I thought, “Viola Davis is my woman king, too.” The whole film was just absolutely incredible and it was empowering to see so many Black women on the screen fighting against the patriarchy.
If you haven’t seen The Woman King, I will give a brief synopsis. It takes place in west Africa in the kingdom of Dahomey. There is an all-female unit called The Agojie who protect this kingdom and man, they don’t take prisoners. The movie literally opens with a fight scene from the get-go. A bunch of men from the rival army is sitting around a campfire, and then you see Viola Davis (rocking a mohawk) and the other Agojie women slowly creeping up upon the men from the tall fields and then they just wield their swords and weapons and fight them to the death. The women in the Agojie live in a community where they support one another, but there are rules: they cannot have sex and they cannot get married. Nanisca is the leader of the group, and she trains each and every one of the women in combat so they can be ready in battle to defend the country. Honestly, I thought it was just so dope how the king of Dahomey (played by Star Wars John Boyega) had an all-female army unit. And honestly I also just thought it was dope how there actually was an all-female army called The Agojie. There is a newcomer to the army named Nawi and she is fierce and also slightly overconfident. Nanisca trains her but also calls her out on this overconfidence and reminds her to be humble. Nanisca and Nawi’s relationship kind of reminded me of this scripture I read called The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, because a Buddhist reformer named Nichiren Daishonin had a disciple named Shijo Kingo who was a skilled doctor and also was skilled in martial arts. However, Shijo Kingo also got in trouble with the lord of his estate because he was always getting in fights and had a short temper. Nichiren always told him in his letters to maintain his composure and always be on his guard since Shijo was at risk of losing his estate for practicing the Daishonin’s Buddhism. There is a letter in particular that I really love called “The Eight Winds,” where Nichiren admonishes Kingo about losing his temper and at the end of the letter he tells him to not be moved by anger, greed or fame. Nanisca is strict with Nawi because she sees so much potential in her and she also sees her as a daughter (there is a twist but no spoilers here).
The movie also somehow made me think of the movie Women Talking. If you haven’t seen Women Talking, it is about an isolated Mennonite community of women who have suffered from sexual abuse at the hands of the men in the colony for decades and they are planning whether to fight, stay or leave the colony. They meet in secret, and each woman recounts the trauma she has suffered at the hands of these men, and the only man in the group, August, is truly an ally to these women because he had such a strong female role model who encouraged him to respect women. The women in the Agojie have also suffered trauma and pain, and in one scene Nanisca comes face to face with the king of the Oye army and she freezes because he assaulted her when she was younger, and so throughout the film I saw how Nanisca had to heal from this incredibly painful trauma and the painful process she went through to heal, and how she finally overcomes her fear and gets back her own power after the king took it from her.
If you ever get to rent the movie, I would check out the special features. They talk about the making of the movie, and I got to learn more about Gina Prince-Bythewood’s filmmaking process (she is the director of The Woman King). I got to also hear the actors’ take on the film and the process they went through to make the movie. Viola Davis has starred in so many great films. She stars in the film adaptation of playwright August Wilson’s Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and she plays Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, who has a powerful voice and demands respect from the white music executives who are trying to exploit her music for profit. A lot of Black artists at the time didn’t get credit for their work or the pay they deserved, so Ma Rainey had to be assertive. Honestly I was just so fascinated hearing the actors talk about their acting process, and there is another feature where the actress who plays Nawi, Thuso Mbedu, is auditioning for the role of Nawi.
The trailer is also phenomenal. It made me want to see the movie. I also love the song “MY POWER” from Beyonce’s visual album Black is King.
The Woman King. 2022. Action/ Drama. 2 h 15 m. Directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood. Rated PG-13 for sequences of strong violence, some disturbing material, thematic content, brief language and partial nudity.
Technology- written 6/12/2019
She sits on the park bench
Glued to her phone
The lone person in the world
Who can hold a human conversation without
looking down
At a screen that causes her neck damage
Tries to start a conversation with the technology zombie
The technology brontosaurus craning its
neck
to see how skilled this girl is
Her fingers flying as she scores big at Candy Crush
Her intense focus like that of a soloist
in Carnegie Hall
Playing Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto by
memory.
Hi
No response
How are you
Looks up–Good–then eyes back down
Isn’t it a peaceful day?
Uh-huh
You should enjoy it more
How
By getting off your technological device.
The gamer looks up
But for a short while
Shrugs her shoulders
Then goes back to her own little world
Caring little that this lone conversationalist
Once spoke with two leaders of the free
world
To abolish nuclear weapons
She sits here thinking about that dialogue
Reminiscing about how important it was
To sit
Face somebody
And communicate.
Daily writing prompt
Daily writing prompt
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
Three jobs I would consider pursuing if money didn’t matter:
- Writer.
- Musician.
- Filmmaker.
The Tour (screenplay, continued)
The camera cuts to the next scene. Interior, Natalie’s room, 9:00 AM, Sunday. Natalie’s iPhone alarm goes off. She grabs it.
Natalie: Oh, fuck off.
She throws her feet out of bed and proceeds to turn off the annoying alarm. She then goes back to sleep because she feels that her dreams are hopeless. She nearly gags and tries to hold back the vomit that threatens to escape from her mouth, and ends up throwing up on her rug. Natalie’s makeup is stained and black eyeliner is melting off of her face. She is a complete mess and doesn’t have her life together.
A loud rap on the door sounds. Natalie ignores it, thinking it’s some solicitor trying to sell her something. The loud rap sounds again and it sounds like African drums beating.
Natalie: Oh, for fuck’s sake.
She opens the door to find Desiree and Alisha standing at her doorstep with their instruments. Desiree is holding her viola and Alisha is holding her cello. Behind them is Desiree’s car, a beat-up Volkswagen van. Natalie is still groggy.
Natalie: What are you guys doing here?
Desiree then erupts in laughter.
Desiree: We’re going on tour, remember?
Natalie rubs her eyes.
Alisha: Are you hungover, Natalie? I can make you a recipe for hangovers. My grandma swears by it.
Natalie: Oh, thanks, but no thanks. Maybe I should get my clothes on.
Desiree gets this mischievous look in her eyes and pretends to be surprised and impressed by Alisha’s idea.
Desiree: Oh, no, Alisha is right. Let’s hang out at your place for a little bit, shall we?
Natalie, rubbing her eyes: Is all your stuff in the car?
Desiree: Um yeah. You told us to pack all our shit, remember?
Natalie: Guys, I had a rough night, I’m sorry.
Alisha grabs both of their hands.
Alisha: We can have a heart to heart over some breakfast.
A frying pan sizzles on Natalie’s stove with bacon and sunny side up eggs. Alisha whistles while she whips up the eggs and bacon. Natalie is sitting at the table, eyes shut tight to ward off the migraine from her hangover.
Desiree: Did you call your boss yet? I called mine this morning.
Natalie looks up with a groggy look in her eyes.
Natalie: No. Maybe I should cancel this tour. We don’t have money and all we have are our instruments and a beat up bus from the Woodstock movement.
Desiree slaps Natalie’s arm.
Desiree: Hey! That’s some sacred shit. My parents got it for their anniversary at Woodstock. It would be a keepsake by today’s standards.
Natalie rolls her eyes, then sips coffee from a Vote for Pedro mug she got from her cupboard.
Alisha: Order up for hangover cure!
She sets three plates on the table. The three eat their breakfast in silence.
Desiree: So are we going on this tour or not?
Natalie: I said no.
Alisha looks up, confused.
Alisha: But you promised.
Natalie: We don’t have any money.
Desiree: You should have some money from work.
Natalie: Do you think my rent, gas, utilities and groceries pay for themselves?
She takes another sip of coffee.
Alisha: I can pitch in.
Natalie: I’m fine, but thanks for your help.
Alisha: Well, how are we going to pay for gas? Food? Any instrument repairs?
Alisha is now very worried.
Natalie is getting exasperated.
Natalie: I told you, the trip is cancelled.
Desiree: I was actually excited about this trip. She shurgs and grabs a mug from Natalie’s cupboard. This one says “I hate Mondays” and has a Grumpy Cat meme on it. She pours herself some coffee.
Desiree: So are you going to call your boss or not?
Alisha turns to look at Natalie in silence, waiting for her answer. Natalie sighs.
Natalie: Ok, but this is going to have consequences.
Desiree: You’re the one who wanted to take us on this trip. Just call your boss and be done with it.
Natalie dials the number of the coffee shop.
The phone rings as the scene cuts to the coffee shop. Natalie’s coworkers Rob answers the phone.
Rob: Sunny Lane Coffee Shop, this is Rob speaking.
Natalie: Hey Rob, it’s Natalie.
Rob: Oh, hey, Nat. What’s up?
Natalie: Is Megan here? I need to talk to her.
Rob: Nah dude, she’s visiting family in Vegas for the weekend. I can give her a message though when she gets back. What’s up?
Natalie pauses, the produces a fake cough from her throat.
Natalie: I’m sick. She feigns more coughing. Desiree and alisha stifle giggles.
Rob: Oh man, I’m sorry. Yrah, it’s been going around. I can just tell her, I’m sure she’ll be cool with it. Take off as much time as you need.
Natalie: Thanks, Rob. I owe you one.
Rob: Don’t mention it.
Natalie ends the call.
Desiree: Well, what did he say?
Alisha gives her the same earnest look she gave earlier.
Natalie: We’re going on tour!
All three of these ladies whoop and cheer. and start hugging each other.
Alisha: Let’s vamos!
Natalie runs up the stairs, almost tripping because she is giddy with excitement.
Desiree: I call shotgun, bitches!
Screen cuts to Natalie’s room. She is packing her suitcase with the utmost passion and speed, while the song “Heads Will Roll” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays. She rolls up her clothes in the style of Marie Kondo because she has spent the last few months depressed and how she copes is by watching Marie Kondo. She then packs up all of her sheet music, her folding music stand and her violin. She hurries to the car, Alisha and Desiree waiting for her.
Alisha: Instruments?
Natalie and Desiree: Check.
Alisha: Snacks?
Natalie and Desiree: Check.
Alisha: House keys in case we come back.
Natalie: We’re not leaving America, Alisha. Chill.
Alisha: I don’t care. What if the smoke alarm goes off?
Alisha does a final check to make sure the oven is off and all doors and windows are locked so that no one breaks in while they are gone.
Alisha: We’re officially doing it guys! We’re going on our very own tour, no managers, no nothing!
Desiree: And with no money.
Alisha sighs.
Alisha: You and your sarcasm cannot be friends with me on this trip.
Desiree turns to Alisha and shrugs.
Desiree: Get used to it. It’s in my nature.
The screen cuts to when they are on the road. Ginuwine’s “Pony” is playing on the radio. They start singing along. The music is blasted full volume and Alisha is covering her ears while Desiree belts out the lyrics.
Alisha: MAYBE WE SHOULD TURN THAT DOWN?!? I CAN’T HEAR SIRI WHEN YOU ARE BLASTING MUSIC SO LOUDLY!!
Desiree: THEN TURN SIRI UP LOUDER!
Alisha: I CAN’T! THIS IS ABOUT AS LOUD AS SHE WILL GO!
Natalie, who is driving, turns off the radio.
Desiree: Damn it, Natalie! You just cut off one of the most defining songs in the lives of a defining generation.
Natalie ignores Desiree and keeps driving.
Natalie: Alisha, how long before we get to our first destination?
Alisha looks down at her phone.
Alisha: Um, it says about an hour.
Desiree: Is there a rest stop anywhere?
Alisha calls from the backseat (she is sitting on the left side and her cello is sitting on the right side): You should have used it before we left the house!
Desiree: I have a tiny bladder!
Alisha: Go pee on the side of the road.
Desiree: Fuck no! You think I want some perv driving up to see me without my pants on?
Natalie: There’s no one here, I highly doubt anyone is going to care.
Desiree frowns and then her face lights up.
Desiree: Guys! We’re approaching a gas station.
Natalie sees the gas station ahead of them, but there are only a few cars there.
Natalie: This doesn’t look safe.
Desiree bounces up and down in her chair.
Desiree: For fuck’s sake. I really have to go!
Natalie pulls into the gas station.
Desiree runs out and rushes into the convenience store. There is Muzak playing inside. The scene cuts back to the car.
Natalie: She had better make it quick.
Desiree finds the woman’s bathroom is closed for maintenance and runs into the men’s bathroom without a second thought. She walks past a guy urinating and does her business. She then comes out of the store, only to find Natalie and Alisha being held at gunpoint by a group of perverts.
Desiree: What the fuck?
The first pervert: Come with us.
Desiree: What is going on?
The second pervert: We wanted to ask you pretty ladies the same question. What are three sexy women like you roaming about the open road for?
Desiree: None of your business.
The first pervert: It will be my business when I blow your brains out.
He aims his gun at Desiree’s chest.
Desiree sighs, then explains: We’re musicians and we’re going on a tour.
The third pervert is against Alisha and leers: A tour?
Desiree stammers because she doesn’t want her friends to get killed.
Desiree: Yes. We’re string musicians and we failed our audition, so we decided to go on a road trip and play anywhere we can find money to pay for our gas and food and…
The first pervert: Well, maybe ou want to see your first venue? Or this right here could be the last venue you ever get to see in your life.
Natalie cringes as the gun continues to linger on her cheek.
Desiree panics, which is so uncharacteristic of her at the beginning because she comes off as this super tough-as-nails girl who doesn’t take crap from anyone.
Desiree: Can I ask something> Where are we?
The first pervert: Tucson, Arizona, baby.
His eyes linger on her chest. Desiree gives him a disgusted look.
Desiree: Okay, where are you going to take us?
The first pervert: Get your things from your car and we’ll show you. Let’s make a deal though. If you do what we say, exactly what we say, we will drive you back to the gas station so you pretty ladies can be on your merry way down the road. Does that sound good to you?
His breath reeks of whsiskey and cheap cigarettes, and the smell of it against her nose makes Desiree want to vomit. The pervert puts out his hand for Desiree to shake. She glances at first and then shakes hands with the guy. He pulls her close to him and fondles her butt.
The pervert: It’s so nicely shaped. I wonder what it looks like without anything on it.
With the three perverts trailing them with their guns, Natalie, Desiree and Alisha go to the car and grab their instruments.
The second pervert: And you won’t be needing any clothes, ladies. We’ve got the perfect outfits for you.
The scene cuts to a strip club. The inside is purple and there is loud hip hop music blasting from the loudspeakers as a tall woman wearing nothing but a G-string and red patent leather Louboutin heels grinds and twirls on a pole. The scene cuts to the dressing room, where Desiree, Natalie and Alisha sit completely naked except for each of them wearing pasties and high heels. Natalie looks around at all of the women in the dressing room getting ready. They are all wearing pasties and thongs. Some of them smoke cigarettes, others gossip, and some drink beer. They all look at these three women with their instruments like they just walked off of Planet Mars. They haven’t seen string players in a strip club before.
Natalie: Does everyone have their stands?
Desiree and Alisha raise their stands so Natalie can see.
Alisha: What’s our first piece?
Natalie String Trio in G Major, Opus 9, No. 1 by Ludwig Van Beethoven.
Deesiree: Are these mofos going to even know who that is?
Natalie sighs and rolls her eyes.
Natalie: Unless you want these dudes to blow our brains out, then they’re just gonna have to find out who Beethoven is.
One of the strippers walks up to them and laughs while taking a drag on her cigarette She is a tall woman with platinum blonde hair and brown eyes.
Stripper: Well, look at who the cat dragged in. This is so adorable! Hey, Tricia, they got us some performahs!
Everyone in the room laughs, and some of them just give dirty looks to Desiree, Natalie and Alisha.
The Announcer: And now, on the center stage, is our first ever string trio. Give it up for our lovely ladies!
Stripper: Breaka leg.
She snorts and walks away. The loud blaring music stops over the loudspeakers so that Natalie, Desiree, and Alisha can perform their music without other music interfering with it.
Alisha turns pale. She looks like she is going to vomit. Desiree gives her dagger eyes.
Desiree: You’d better not fuck this up for us by puking.
Alisha cowers.
Alisha: I know. I’m trying.
The three of them walk onstage, and immediately everyone in the audience jeers. Desiree gives dagger eyes to Natalie.
Alisha: Guys, it’s chills. I don’t have any clothes on. I just want to go home.
Natalie: Maybe this was a bad idea…
Desiree: Well, we’re on tour now. Get used to it.
They set up their stands on the stage and then tune an A. They each tune their strings. The audience continues to pay very little attention to them, milling about while eating and drinking. They then look at each other, and then play. Everyone turns to look and even the waitresses stop serving people for a moment to turn and look at these women playing. The three perverts are sitting backstage, waiting for them to get off, but even they are moved by the music. Everyone is moved to tears, and before they know it, the audience members are throwing dollar bills on the stage at them. People whistle and cheer for them.
Natalie smiles, but then she sees the first pervert motion with the crook of his finger for them to go. She turns to exit and then he mouths to her “Grab the money!” and so she, Desiree and Alisha all grab the money and make for it, nervously giving bows to the audience, their legs shaking. At first they don’t have the energy to bow before the audience, but it’s in their orchestra training. They hurry past the other strippers, who applaud them, and one of them, the stripper who jeered at them earlier, lightly touches Natalie on the shoulder and gives her her business card.
Stripper: Let us know when you’re in town again. Here’s my card. Call me.
Natalie: Sure, thanks.
She is still shaking because she just played her first nude concert. Hell, even Desiree is shaking and Desiree isn’t afraid of anything. Alisha goes outside and vomits on the side of the road. The three perverts hurry them into the car. There is silence.
The first pervert: Can you guys sleep with us? Talented musicians such as yourselves deserve good men like us. Come, we’ll take you back to our place.
Natalie: No, you promised you would take us back to our van.
The first pervert looks at hem, and then his lip curls.
The first pervert: Okay, but we will get at least a half of the cuts.
Desiree: For what?
Desiree is incredulous. How dare these guys try to take half of their pay when they just played the most humiliating concert of their lives!
The first pervert: Look, we’re struggling, too, okay? My wife and my kids are struggling…
Desiree: The fuck, dude!?! Why the fuck are a bunch of shitty guys like you hitting on us women for?
The first pervert: I guess it’s human nature to crave pleasurable things. Also we gave you sluts a ride, so pay up because it’s gas money, and gas ain’t getting any cheaper in this country as we know it.
Natalie: Just give him half the cut, D. I just want to go in our car and sleep.
Desiree rolls her eyes, then starts counting the money. When she has counted half of the money they have earned, she pays up. The first pervert grabs the money from their hands wthout so much as a glare, not even a “thanks.”
The first pervert: Now get out. And take your shit with you.
The car drives off, leaving the girls with their instruments and still no clothes on.
Alisha: At least we have our clothes in the car.
They go in the car and sleep.
(to be continued…)
The Tour (screenplay: continued)
7:00 pm. Walt Disney Concert Hall. Natalie enters a large barren building where she will have her orchestra audition. She walks through the hall and sees multiple violinists sitting nervously. Natalie opens up her binder to scan her sheet music before her audition. Alonzo a 6 foot 4 inch man with a black goatee and Coke bottle glasses, opens the metal door and shouts “Hermann, Natalie,” looking at his roster. The previous violinist walks past the other violinists without saying anything.
Natalie picks up her instrument and walks through the double doors, the doors giving a harsh slam after her. Natalie walks in. The concert hall is big and red and one spotlight shines on Natalie. There are three judges. All of them are middle-aged white men. One of them is John Sharpley, the concertmaster of the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Another is Pierre LaBougiere, the principal bassist, and the final judge is Phillipe Brighton, the conductor of the orchestra. They do not look at her when she walks in because they are still writing comments about the last auditioning person. Natalie doesn’t say anything. She just looks out into the audience. Her palms are sweatier than the guy in the song “Lose Yourself” and she feels nauseous, like she wants to throw up. But she holds back the vomit in her throat and takes a few deep breaths. John, Pierre, and Phillipe all look up at her.
Pierre: Please take out Don Juan, measures 94-116.
Natalie puts her violin on her shoulder rest, and begins, but because she is so nervous, she plays the wrong notes and sounds out of tune. She tries to loosen up but she cannot. Pierre claps his hands.
John: We are finished. Thank you.
Natalie stands in utter silence. She cannot say a word.
The scene cuts to Natalie walking alone through the city of L.A. holding her violin. Her expression is numb, she can only think of how badly she screwed up. She sees a bar to her right and turns into the parking lot. She walks into the bar. Sad jazz music plays over the loudspeaker.
Bartender: What can I get you?
Natalie: Heineken.
She hands him a five dollar bill. He turns his back, grabs a bottle of Heineken beer out of the refrigerator and sets it on the counter.
Natalie: Thanks.
The bartender turns back to his work, not saying anything.
Natalie looks to her right and sees a white woman with curly brown hair wearing a black leather jacket and black leather pants drinking a shotglass filled with Jack Daniel’s Whiskey. She decides to talk out of the blue because she is lonely and the bartender won’t talk to her. She thinks this woman will at least care to listen to her struggles.
Natalie: I had a rough day.
The woman stares ahead and continues to drink her whiskey.
Natalie: I had an audition and I totally bombed it. Just fell flat on my face, I mean not literally, but I just started off playing Don Juan and I freaked out and totally fucked up. I am such an idiot, I mean how could I screw up so easy?
The woman doesn’t answer, just continues drinking her whiskey.
Natalie sighs.
Natalie: I guess you don’t care. That’s cool. I barely know you anyway. Good night.
She kicks back the Heineken with one big swig, gasps and goes “Ahh.” She grabs her violin.
The woman: I fucked up, too.
Natalie turns around.
The woman: What was the audition for?
Natalie: LA Phil.
The woman: I was there, too.
Natalie: Really? I just got back from there and didn’t see you.
The woman: I had my audition at 9 am. Violas.
The woman turns back to her drink and grabs some peanuts from the little glass bowl on the counter.
The woman: What’s your name?
Natalie: Natalie.
The woman pauses, then after taking a sip of her beer, says: I’m Desiree.
Desiree turns away from Natalie and calls to the bartender.
Desiree: I’ll have another. Keep ’em coming. I could use all the shots tonight.
She sets a ten dollar bill on the counter. The bartender slides her another shot.
Another woman, Alisha, walks into the bar and sits down. She is a short Latina woman carrying a cello.
Alisha: I’ll have a ginger ale.
Alisha hands the bartender a five dollar bill. She turns to Desiree and Natalie and looks bashfully.
Alisha: I’m driving back, so I can’t drink. I’m Alisha. What brings you guys here tonight?
Desiree: I bombed an audition.
Natalie: Same.
Alisha: Me three. What orchestra did you guys audition for?
Natalie and Desiree say in unison: LA Phil.
Alisha gapes.
Alisha: No way! I was just there, but you guys must not have seen me. They put the cellos in a different part of the concert hall.
Natalie and Desiree continue to look at the woman in silence. Natalie suddenly gets this look in her eyes, and puts her drink down.
Natalie: I think we should go on a road trip.
Desiree: But we just met you. I’m not going on a road trip with some stranger.
Natalie: But what else are we going to do with the rest of our lives if we can’t win an orchestra audition? Most musicians spend their lives preparing for this big thing and they end up failing and beating themselves up because they didn’t get in the orchestra they wanted, and I’m not about to mope for the rest of my life just because I couldn’t make it into the LA Phil.
Desiree looks at her in silence.
Alisha: What time should we hit the road?
Natalie: Be at my apartment by 7 am in the morning.
Desiree: I can’t. I have work.
Alisha: Same here.
Natalie: So do I, but I’ll just lie and say I’m sick or something.
Desiree: That’s stupid. Don’t lie to your boss and not come in. You need the money.
Natalie: But you see, this is my dream. I have always wanted to go on tour, but I never knew how it would work out. I am miserable in this barista job, and this is my only shot to make this work. Come on, guys, you;ve gotta trust me.
Desiree and Alisha look at her for about a minute long, then Desiree sighs.
Desiree: Alright, fine. See you at 7.
Natalie: See you guys bright and early.
She leaves the bar, putting on her leather jacket.
Desiree and Alisha look behind her as she leaves and just sit there.
Alisha takes a drink of ginger ale.
Alisha: Do you need a ride? I haven’t been drinking.
Desiree: That would be lovely.
She clumsily gets up. Alisha holds her and helps her out of the bar so she doesn’t fall down.
SCENE CUTS TO Natalie’s apartment, her bedroom. Natalie lies anxiously in her bed. She is single, unmarried, with no kids. She moved out of her parents’ house to attend conservatory in Manhattan and moved to Los Angeles to “follow her dreams.” She drinks more alcohol, making herself even more intoxicated. We see a bottle of Heineken, an open bottle of Absolut vodka and a half empty bottle of Yellow Tail moscato. Her fluffy white poodle, Scruffy, walks around Natalie. She could potentially get alcohol poisoning from drinking so much.
A voice that just happens to be Natalie’s inner critic appears, dressed in a professional looking suit with coattails. She holds a martini and sits in the grey beanbag chair across from Natalie’s bed.
Natalie’s inner critic: You idiot. Why would you think you can just quit your job and go off on some tour? You need to have money to do such a thing.
Natalie’s inner critic rubs her thumb, index and middle fingers together.
Natalie’s inner critic: And guess how much you have in your bank account? Almost nothing. Do you think anyone cares about your dreams?
Natalie burrows her head further in her pillow. She tries to fight the nasty inner critic from telling her to backtrack on her decision, but the inner critic goes over to her bedside, caresses the side of Natalie’s face while she is lying awake. She whimpers, tears falling down her cheeks. She puts her tear-stained face in her hands and starts crying.
The Arts Are Life 