Written on March 10, 2023
Content warning: self-mutilation, violence
So today I wanted to watch The Banshees of Inishirin because I am still trying to watch as many of the Oscar nominees as I can before Sunday. Honestly I forgot how much I love escaping into movies until I started watching all these films during Oscars weekend. In the previous years I saw maybe one or two movies out of all the nominees, and last year I had only seen The Power of the Dog and Drive My Car. I am a little more caught up on the movies for this ceremony than I am from last year, although I probably won’t be able to watch them all before Sunday. But today I decided to rent The Banshees of Inishirin because it got a really high Rotten Tomatoes rating and a lot of nominations, so I wanted to know what all the buzz was about. And it ended up being quite a deep movie, and it was the same feeling I got after watching The Lobster or The Lighthouse, which both left me with intense chills. I saw Colin Farrell’s* other movie called The Lobster, and other films where he plays supporting roles in Roman J. Israel, Esq. and Widows (*I almost put Colin Firth lol, I’m getting my last names mixed up. I always confuse Colin Farrell and Colin Firth the two since their first names are both Colin and their last names start with F. Why I always confuse the two actors’ names, I have no idea.) He plays the main character in The Banshees of Inishirin, which takes place in a coastal village in Ireland during the 1920s. The main character, Padraic Suilleabhain, lives with his sister Siobhan and he is pretty content with his friendships, until his longtime friend, Colm, gives him the cold shoulder and tells him to not speak to him anymore. Padraic is wondering why the hell Colm won’t talk to him anymore, and when he tries to engage Colm in conversation Colm keeping ignoring him or avoiding him. He then threatens Padraic in the wildest way: if Padraic doesn’t leave him alone, Colm will cut off his fingers. Literally. Not a metaphorical “ugh, I hate you, I’m just going to cut my fingers off. Haha jk,” no. Literally he is going to slice the fingers off of his hands. Which stinks because he plays the fiddle and loves playing music, so if his friend keeps bugging him he won’t get to play violin anymore. Siobhan and the other villagers (this being a small town, gossip travels verrrrry quickly) tell him to leave Colm alone, but Padraic doesn’t listen because he (and I) couldn’t understand why Colm wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore.
This film does imply that Colm might have been struggling with depression, even though at the time there wasn’t any super advanced DSM-5 book detailing depression symptoms, no Better Help, no therapy other than the local priest. Colm visits the local priest several times for confession, and admits he is struggling with despair, which is probably the best word they could call depression at the time. He still doesn’t think Padraic can understand what he is going through though, even though we clearly see throughout the film how Padraic feels even lonelier and more isolated when Colm continues to ostracize him. Siobhan gets fed up at one point with Colm cutting off his fingers every time Padraic tries to talk with him and she is like, “Well fuck this nonsense. I can’t deal. I’m heading to the mainland,” so she leaves, leaving Padraic and the animals. To go off on a tangent, those farm animals earned their own Oscar nominations because they navigated this bleak storyline with the utmost calm. Unfortunately Jenny the miniature donkey wouldn’t be able to attend the ceremony with Sammy, Colm’s dog, and Minnie the Pony because Colm accidentally murders her when she eats one of his cut off fingers, chokes on it and dies (that scene left me quite sad, almost as sad as the opening scene of The Lobster where the lady at the beginning shoots a donkey dead.)
This film explores the price of loneliness and friendship and whether it’s really worth continuing friendships if the other person is no longer interested. Of course, I couldn’t blame any of the characters in the movie. It’s the 1920s and there was no social media, so you had to talk with people face to face. Padraic just wants acceptance from people, and so he asks people like Dominic and Siobhan if he is really as boring as people say he is, and they have to reassure him that he is ok. Sometimes I find myself often dealing with these kinds of insecurities in my own friendships. Back then, you just asked someone, “Do you think I’m boring?” and now the idea of a friend has changed a lot since Facebook defined what friendship is. If you don’t like someone you can “unfriend” or “unfollow” them (that’s probably why there was a movie called Unfriended. Probably too chicken to watch it, but again I’m digressing) and probably not have to see the person again, unless that person is a coworker or relative (or worse, your kids.) But Colm and Padraic couldn’t just leave each other, and there were no cell phones at the time so you couldn’t be at the pub pretending to be on your phone and avoid talking to someone you didn’t like. Padraic often finds Colm playing his violin at the pub with other musicians or writing music, a piece called “The Banshees of Inishirin.” He really wants Colm to stop ignoring him, but Colm won’t let Padraic talk to him. We never actually find out what Padraic did to make Colm not talk to him, but all we know is that the situation just keeps getting more and more stressful.
When I saw this movie, I thought about an article I read in The New York Times Sunday magazine in a segment called The Ethicist, and there were two inquiries related to loneliness and friendship. In the first, the person asking the question says they have an older person who keeps wanting to talk with them, who is deeply lonely and may or may not struggle with untreated depression, and the person was wondering if they should still be friends since they have their own busy life to deal with. The other person asking a question asked about someone who they consider to be good friends, but the other person doesn’t respond to their messages or invite them to things. The Ethicist columnist concluded that the person might want to accept the fact that this coworker might just be an acquaintance at this point. This is how I felt for many years, and so I wondered for a long time, Which people should I consider acquaintances and which people should I consider friends? And, Am I too clingy as a friend? When is it time to show up and when should I back off? A lot of my insecurities have come up with my friendships and navigating them has been challenging, but I’m just chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo for the happiness of my friends.
Dominic latches onto Siobhan and Padraic at first, and then Siobhan rejects Dominic when Dominic tells her he loves her and wants to know if she would fall in love with him. Then there is a scene where Padraic finds Colm talking at the brewery with Declan, another musician, and he wonders, Why does he laugh and talk with this guy and yet completely ostracize me? He catches up with Declan, and while riding on his cart, Padraic lies to Declan and tells him that he heard his dad got run over by a bread van and that he should leave to go find his dad and take care of him. Declan falls for this and leaves, and later Padraic and Dominic are sitting and talking and Padraic jokes about what he told Declan about his dad, and Dominic gets upset and tells Padraic that he used to like him, but that now he is mean, and he leaves Padraic alone. It reminded me of one time in the seventh grade, when I was really insecure. I often partook in gossiping about my classmates and saying negative things about them that weren’t true because I just felt that would get people to like me better, and I was talking on the phone with one of my friends and she started gossiping and then I gossiped even more, and she cut me off and was so surprised and said, “You’re gossiping about all these people!” At the time I didn’t care because I was just so hateful and cynical about everyone, but looking back she was getting me to stop and reflect because I was saying hurtful things about people (and unfortunately saying many hurtful things about myself at the same time.) When I gossiped, eventually all those people I gossiped with moved on and we were no longer friends.