Tag: education

What I Am Actually Thankful For

I am grateful for a lot of things in my life. My family, having a car, having a job, my friends, my Buddhist community, food, water and the list goes on. However, I also understand that for American Indian and First Nation peoples, Thanksgiving is a day of mourning, to remember all of the brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers lost in the genocide that the white European settlers committed against American Indian folks. As someone who is not a member of the First Nations, I now use this day as a time for education and awareness. As a kid, I went along with the typical traditions and cultural brainwashing of Thanksgiving as this harmonious ceremony during which white settlers at Plymouth Rock coexisted with American Indian people.

And then, when I grew up and started reading more books and talking with actual American Indian classmates and people, I realized that perspective on history was incorrect. So, I had to educate myself and un-learn a lot of the white colonial bullshit that my elementary school teachers fed me, and I threw that pile of shit back into all of the shitty textbooks that taught me that Thanksgiving was this beautiful holiday. That shit stank, but the truth sometimes has to piss you off in order to set you free. As I grew older, I started reading more literature by First Nations authors such as Leslie Marmon Silko, Joy Harjo, Sherman Alexie and Tommy Orange. For an online book club that my college alma mater does, the moderator chose a novel called Five Little Indians by Michelle Good, a Cree Canadian author. The novel describes the traumatic history of residential schools in Canada and the impact and legacy that these schools has had on the Indigenous Canadian adults who survived its horrors as children. I don’t know much about Canadian history, unfortunately, but reading Five Little Indians gave me much needed insight into how fucked up the residential school system was. It also helped me understand that like the history of the United States of America, you cannot fully understand the history of Canada unless you learn about the countless atrocities that Indigenous men, women, children and non-binary peoples faced throughout the nation’s history. In this government-funded residential school system, many Indigenous children were abducted and separated from their families and placed into these residential schools in an attempt to erase Indigenous education and cultural traditions from Canadian history and assimilate Indigenous children into white Canadian society. There was a significant lack of resources, the staff abused children and white authorities at the schools punished Indigenous children for speaking their own languages. I watched a video to learn more about the history of these schools and when the survivors were describing to the reporter the abuse they experienced and witnessed, it really fucked me up, but I needed to get my mind fucked up because I needed to know how fucked up the residential school system was. I cannot begin to describe the horrors that the kids experienced at these schools. I will just say that reading that book, Five Little Indians by Michelle Good, will stick with me for a while.

One author I really love is Tommy Orange. He is an author from Oakland, California who is an enrolled member of the Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma. I really love his writing and recommend his novels There There and Wandering Stars. Movies-wise, I recommend Killers of the Flower Moon and Fancy Dance on Apple TV. Fancy Dance is a movie directed by Native American filmmaker Erica Tremblay, and it is about a young queer Cayuga woman named Jax who investigates the disappearance of her sister, Tawi, while caring for Tawi’s daughter, Roki. I didn’t know much about the history of missing and murdered Native American people before watching this movie, but watching Fancy Dance made me want to learn more about the history of missing and murdered Indigenous peoples. Even though I really loved Killers of the Flower Moon and thought Lily Gladstone was fucking incredible in their role as Mollie Burkhart (Lily Gladstone goes by she/her and they/them pronouns), I really loved that in Fancy Dance Gladstone got to play the main character in the movie and also that their character, like Lily Gladstone in real life, is part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Summertime

I love summer. I don’t enjoy the weather, necessarily, because down South it gets really hot, and I’m talking, you can fry an egg on the sidewalk kind of hot. I love the prevalence of things to do during the summer. There are a lot of things for kids to do, and I remember going to summer programs was a great investment of time and money for my parents. I remember going to summer school when I was in elementary school and taking a class where we learned about multimedia. I also remember taking a Spanish class where we had a cool teacher named Ms. Basdeo, and she would sing songs with us in Spanish. One of them was “Willaby Wallaby we, a elefante setse do en mi. Willaby Wallaby,” and then we had to go around and sing “[insert name] got sat on by the elephant” in Spanish. I think one of my favorite parts of the summer programs was going to the vending machine and getting those Cookies n Cream ice cream cones. My least favorite was riding the bus to the program because I was shy and quiet, and had difficulty being comfortable around the other kids because they seemed to be more outgoing than me. I really enjoyed art class, though, because I love creating things. It was nice to sit in the class and draw and paint and sculpt things. I remember sitting with some pretty nice people and would often give them my soy nuts and other snacks to munch on during class. They actually really liked the soy nuts; I didn’t think they would, but one of the girls at the table kept putting her hand out every time and so I would give her some of my soy nuts. I also loved the snacks they served at these enrichment programs; Cosmic Brownies was my jam, as were Little Debbie Zebra snack cakes. The sugary filling in the middle, and the softness and puffed-upness of these snack cakes was like being on Cloud Nine, I’m not kidding you. Even though I am vegan, I can still taste how good those Zebra Cakes were. Art class was one of my favorite things to do during the summer, because it gave me an outlet to express myself and it gave me something to do over those hot long months. I really liked one of the classes that I took because we got to have little indoor picnics where we had pieces of fruit with this creamy cheese that we spread on crackers. We were pretending like we were eating French food. I fell in love with that creamy cheese, and even though I can’t eat it anymore due to my lactose-intolerance, I can still imagine the creaminess of the cheese as I spread it on those crackers and ate it with those pieces of fruit. There was another art studio that was above the college preparatory summer school I ended up going to a few years later, and it was called The Artist Within. I sat with a small group of kids, and we just drew and ate snacks and listened to music. The kids were really nice, and they somehow embraced my quiet and sensitive personality. There was one girl named Rose who had a short blonde haircut and wore all black, and she was pretty cool. The art teacher was really sweet, too. She and I had some pretty good conversations. I vaguely remember one of the songs we listened to on that little radio was “Any Other Girl” by an artist named Nu. I didn’t know who the artist was at the time, but I just looked up based on the few song lyrics I remembered, and I got lucky because most times I hear a song, but I don’t know who the artist is.

As I got older, I started participating in more music programs. I still loved drawing, but by this point I had started playing the cello the summer before sixth grade and I fell in love with it. So, I attended a summer program at a university that was about an hour from where I lived that was for cello students in middle and high school. It was really fun getting to play with the other students. They offered a masterclass, which is a class where a faculty member has some students play for them and gives them feedback on what they did well and how they can do better. I didn’t know what to expect from a masterclass at first, and frankly it sounded intimidating. The word “masterclass” made me wonder if I needed to be an advanced student to be in the class. I don’t think I ended up participating in the master class, but I remember watching the older students perform and thinking, Wow, they’re so cool and mature! I want to play like them! Some of the tunes I remember playing was this piece called “Evening Prayer” and we had two really cool instructors named Louann and Andrew. Andrew was part of an ensemble of cellists called the 440 Alliance, and my parents and I went to see them play. They were really, really good and they played cello in this really cool way. They were rocking out together, and it was just a blast to watch!

One class I took over one of my summers (it was either fifth or sixth grade) was an improv class at a local university. As a quiet kid, it was really hard for me to fit in at first. I was so used to reading my book and not talking with other kids, and I was more accustomed to talking with adults than with the other kids. But looking back, I am glad I took that improv class because it helped me go outside my comfort zone. That’s not to say that right after taking the improv class, I stopped being introverted. But it helped to learn something new, something that I wasn’t used to doing. I remember being in that summer class and the kids were all super outgoing and talkative and I just wanted to crawl into a corner and read, but I couldn’t so I did my best, but I suffered from so much social embarrassment. I remember one time I had to get up with a couple of other students in the class, and we had to pick one or two other students to join us in an improv game. I was freaking out because everyone kept getting up when it came my turn to choose, and yelling, “PICK ME! NO, NO, PICK ME!” I desperately just wanted to hide in a corner, but I ended up making a decision and we played this game called The Party Game. I forgot what it entailed, but I somehow survived standing up there in front of a bunch of kids, worrying about how people were going to judge me. Like I said, I definitely needed to get out of my comfort zone.

Summers were also a really fun time to visit family. Summers in Chicago were a lot of fun because my family loved going to the movie theater. I would excitedly mark in my calendar the movies that were coming out and we would go as a family to see them. We were too young to watch any PG-13 or R-rated films, but we would see movies like Shrek or The Rugrats Go Wild, and we loved them. Fast forward, and in the summer of 2016, I am walking down the streets of Chicago to go to the Chicago Culture Center. However, at that moment I was no longer the carefree seven-year-old but now a 22-year-old college graduate with major depressive disorder and no plans for the future. I rode the L train to the center, determined to battle whatever inner turmoil was going on within me. I went to the center and furiously chanted the phrase Nam-myoho-renge-kyo over and over again. I wasn’t trying to work miracles at that moment. I was battling this fundamental inability to believe that my life was worth living, that I had a future full of possibilities and opportunities that I couldn’t even imagine. I was in a state of suffering, and I was determined more than ever that summer to claw myself out. After chanting, I felt so empowered to make efforts to transform my suffering and my state of life expanded. A few months later, I finally got the help that I needed, and was able to finally address that inner turmoil with a mental health professional. That moment during that summer of 2016 was a profound cause for me to transform my life on a deep, deep level.

Abbott Elementary, season 3: episode 4 (“Smoking”)

Yesterday I couldn’t get enough of Abbott Elementary, so after catching up on episode 1 (“Career Day”) I watched the latest episode, “Smoking.” In this episode, a student at Abbott is caught smoking, which caused the fire alarms at the school to go off. Apparently, there is not a no-smoking rule at Abbott. The teachers end up having a discussion about drugs in the lounge. Jacob says that smoking is bad, but Janine says he can’t say that because he vapes. Jacob argues that vaping is not as bad as smoking, and then he tells everyone that Janine does weed. Janine admits that she smokes it every night and that she needs it to function. Ava admits that she does hookah, Gregory admits he has an occasional protein-bar edible, and when Barbara tells them they need to give up the sin of taking these drugs, Melissa laughs and says that Barbara drinks alcohol. Mr. Johnson tries to chime in, but Janine sees a student has been taping the whole discussion with his phone, and the teachers confront the student about how he needs to not let the discussion become public. However, it is too late. The student ended up posting the conversation on social media, and now students everywhere in the school now know that their teachers do substances even though they told the students that substances were bad. During a lesson Jacob is teaching on the Dust Bowl, one of his students asks, when looking at a photo of the Dust Bowl, if that is what the inside of Jacob’s car looks like when he is vaping, and they laugh at him. Janine greets a student in the halls with a simple “hi,” and the student whispers, “Bet you are.” (At first, I didn’t catch this, but then I watched it again and realized the student was making fun of Janine being “high” on weed.) Barbara is teaching her students and takes a sip from her traveler mug, and a student asks her if she is drinking Pinot Grigio. The teachers are fed up, and so they find a way to clear things up with the students.

They end up enlisting the help of Tariq’s program, F.A.D.E. I honestly thought Tariq was going to show up again, but instead it’s Slim, another guy who is part of the F.A.D.E. program. Slim was deeply influenced by Tariq, and it is clearly showing in his performance. He ends up giving a really hilarious spoken word about not doing drugs, and it is very cringey for the students to watch. He enlists another F.A.D.E. spokesperson, Caroline (played by a really brilliant comedian named Aparna Nancherla), who ends up engaging the students in a very chaotic discussion about which drugs are better or worse than others. The school ends up employing a strict checking policy where the teachers have to check the students’ bags for any drugs. Obviously, this isn’t fun, and it stresses the teachers and students out. The teachers talk more about it, and they realize the best way to address this is to actually have a conversation with Curtis, the student who was caught smoking. Melissa and Gregory sit down with the student, and the student apologizes and says he won’t do it again, and that he doesn’t even like the taste of smoking. Melissa and Gregory tell him he isn’t in trouble and tell him that they just want to make sure he is being careful. When the student asks if it was his fault for having the F.A.D.E. program brought into the school, Melissa assures him that wasn’t his fault (“it’s the government’s fault) and they send the student back to class. Gregory and Melissa don’t want Curtis to be suspended, and so Gregory finds a way so that Curtis’s suspension will be lifted. When Curtis finds out, he goes into Ava’s office and gives her a hug (this was really touching).

Meanwhile, Janine also has to deal with Jessca (yes, this is actually how she spells her name) who is the substitute for Janine’s classroom. Jessca insists on the students calling her by her first name and doesn’t teach them grammar properly. She lets the students misplace commas and just has a very lax attitude towards teaching, and Janine has a problem with this. One of the students calls her Janine when she comes into the classroom, and Janine corrects him and says, “it’s Ms. Teagues,” but Jessca insists it’s fine and that nothing is wrong with her teaching. Janine confronts Barbara about Jessca, but Barbara tells her that every teacher has their own teaching method and that is fine. Barbara also admits that she wasn’t too thrilled about Janine’s teaching methods when Janine first came to Abbott because Barbara had a certain way of doing things, but after she got to know Janine over time, she came to respect Janine’s ways of teaching.

Poor Jacob had to give up his vaping pen at the end, though. The teachers cheer him on when he drops it in the trash can, but then he fishes back in the trash for his vaping pen because he doesn’t want to let it go. He ends up finding another alternative to vaping, a Bref pen, which is just straight up air (I had to look up if Bref pens were real, but I couldn’t find any.)