I would probably be more confident about making decisions. I often struggle to feel confident in my decision making and often second guess myself and will go through a lot of analysis paralysis and procrastination, but by the time I make the decision it is usually made for me. I think being more confident in my decisions is especially important around this time, because I am starting to weigh a lot of major life decisions, like Should I get married? Should I buy a house or rent an apartment? Should I have children? I often tend to compare myself to others or look at other people’s lives and think, Maybe I should do that, maybe I shouldn’t. It is still something I am working on, to be honest, but I think practicing Buddhism is helping me become more confident in who I am. I am also learning that it is okay to take time when it comes to some major life decisions because I want to know what kind of life I want to live. I also tend to say “sorry” a lot and that is something that has been bugging my family and friends for a while. I have been saying “sorry” all the time since I was a kid because I do not want to hurt people’s feelings. I understand apologies are necessary in some circumstances, but I am realizing that saying “sorry” all the time isn’t great if I don’t learn from the mistakes I made. Neither is beating myself up or belittling myself. I am very self-critical at times and it is easy for me to think that in order to learn from the mistake, I need to beat myself up unnecessarily but I am realizing that beating myself up all of the time isn’t nice nor is it productive for me (or anyone else, really. There are only so many apologies that people are willing to accept from me and believe me, the people in my life have accepted one too many.)
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