Movie Review: Till (content warning: disturbing descriptions of racism)

I just finished the movie Till. To be honest I am still processing it since it was a very hard film to watch but I am going to do my best to write as much as I can about the movie. I got it from the library because I heard it got a lot of great reviews and Ariana DeBose, the actress from West Side Story, gave a shoutout to Danielle Deadwyler while singing a medley of “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” and “We Are Family” at the BAFTA awards. (Side note: Danielle’s face when Ariana gave the shoutout was priceless.)

So now on to the movie. The film opens up in the 1950s in Chicago, Illinois, and Mamie Till-Mobley and her 14-year old son, Emmett, are driving through the city listening to the radio and singing. However, within a few moments of seeing them singing, Mamie’s face suddenly gets serious and the radio music is overshadowed by suspenseful music and if you know about what happened to Emmett Till, you know she has a sense that something bad is going to happen to her son. In fact, leading up to Emmett’s brutal lynching, the camera forces you to sit with Mamie’s deepening anxiety about her son going to visit his cousins in Mississippi. She warns Emmett that he needs to be careful because the South is known for lynching Black people and his life as a young Black man is basically in jeopardy if he goes down there. But he doesn’t take her seriously and says that he knows he needs to be careful. He goes down to see his cousins and they have to work in the cotton fields as sharecroppers. When Emmett makes jokes and goofs off while they are working, his cousins get upset with him and tell him that he is going to get them in trouble with the white people that they work for, but Emmett doesn’t take them seriously. Unfortunately, Emmett sees the ugly side of this Deep South racism when he goes to a corner store for some candy with his cousins. He browses the store and then goes up to the counter and sees a white lady named Carolyn Bryant working at the counter. He grabs some candy out of the jar and he then tells the lady that she looks like a movie star and pulls out a photo of a white lady and shows her. Emmett’s cousins realize that none of them are watching Emmett, so one of them goes into the store and sees him talking to the white woman, and he’s thinking, I need to get Emmett out of here because he is not supposed to be doing that in this part of town, so he The white lady is offended and then when she comes out of the store, before leaving, Emmett smiles and whistles at her. She grabs a pistol and runs after them, and Emmett and his cousins race into their truck and run off as she stands with the pistol pointing at them. When they get home, his cousins’ parents are up late worried about what happened to them, but then they arrive home and Emmett is laughing and talking about how much fun he had. The dad tells him to be careful and Emmett tells him he knows, and then one of the cousins, while on another night out on the town, is angry at Emmett and tells him that he can’t get off from that incident scot-free and that the white folks are going to go after him and them. Emmett tells them it was just one time and that he would be careful next time.

Meanwhile, while all this is going on, Mamie is worried about her son and has a feeling that something dangerous is going to happen to him. And she has every reason to worry, not just because she is Emmett’s mom but because he is a young Black man in 1950s Mississippi and so his life is pretty much at risk simply because of how white people treated Black people down there. She tells her partner, Gene, that she needs to have a night out with the ladies to get her worries about her son off of her mind, and he agrees, so she takes time away to spend time with her friends, playing cards with them and smoking and chit-chatting. However, her sense of calm quickly disappears and she finds herself once again worrying about Emmett and sensing there is something not okay with him. Unfortunately, she is right. Things are not going great during Emmett’s trip, and the husband of the white lady Emmett was talking with at the corner store comes to Uncle Mose’s house and searches the house for Emmett and the white men take away Emmett. When Uncle Mose tells the men to leave Emmett alone, they threaten to shoot him. While we don’t see the actual brutal lynching of Emmett, we see several men, including some Black men who work for the Bryants, drag Emmett into the truck and we hear Emmett’s screams as the men brutally murder him.

The movie in general was hard to watch, but I think the hardest part was seeing the scene where Mamie goes to see her son’s mutilated body after it was found dumped in the river. The camera does it to where we don’t see the body immediately, but it goes up from under the table to where we can see the body during the autopsy . And man, it is brutal to watch this scene. I had studied about Emmett Till in my U.S. history classes, but when I actually saw Emmett’s mutilated bloated face and entire body on the screen it showed me how brutal his lynching really was and also how fucked up Jim Crow and the legacy of racism was and still is. It reminded me of when George Zimmerman, a police officer, shot and killed a young Black man named Trayvon Martin, who was just going into the store and living his life. Young Black men don’t get to live and enjoy their lives because white America is constantly policing their bodies, and that is how it has been for centuries, even dating back to enslavement. There is a scene in the film where Mamie tells Emmett that when he is down in Mississippi he needs to “be small,” meaning that he has to act servile towards white people and can’t be his confident joyful self because white people just can’t stand seeing a young confident Black man being himself. When Black people resisted the policing of their bodies and experienced freedom and joy, it threatened the idea of safety for many white people and the system of injustice and so instead of letting Black men experience Black joy they did everything in their power to squash that Black joy, including robbing them of life. In the wake of Trayvon being killed, I remember doing a class video project and one of my classmates make a joke about Trayvon Martin and I remember being pretty upset but I was also a coward at the time and was too afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to be pegged as this angry Black woman. I really wish I had spoken up though because Travyon’s murder was not something to joke about. I have become much more hyperaware of how ugly this racism is especially after the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and countless other Black people in America. In the film, Mamie wants everyone to see Emmett’s body in the open casket because she knows that no one will take his lynching seriously if they don’t see the damage that these men did to his body. Seeing Mamie crying over her son’s body on the autopsy table gave me chills, but I had to see this because many times when I was watching historical movies like The Butler and they briefly showed Emmett Till’s body, I would look away or not want to see it. But they portray it for what it was in this movie, and there was no way they could sugarcoat how fucked up the lynching of Emmett Till was, so I had to see it for what it was. I remember when George Floyd got murdered and Derek Chauvin, a white police officer, sat on his neck for about eight minutes. A young woman outside the store videotaped the entire lynching on her phone, and it circled across the internet. Many people, including white people, were shocked and disgusted, and as a Black person, it wasn’t new for me because I had seen countless news articles by this point about people who look like me being brutally murdered at the hands of police. But for many people, they had not seen or learned about police brutality, so for them it was painful to see a human being devalue the life of another human being simply because he was Black. And sure, some people argue that oh, Those Black kids were just walking the wrong way or They were talking too loudly. But that doesn’t mean what Derek Chauvin did was in any way right. He literally took someone else’s life when he didn’t have to. I think had the young woman not videotaped the murder on her phone, I don’t think anyone would have seen how painful and traumatic George Floyd’s murder was. At Emmett’s funeral, the attendees walk past Emmett’s corpse and are deeply pained but they see how brutally he was lynched.

I thought about stopping the film shortly after that, but I had to keep going because the acting was just so damn good. The rest of the movie shows how Mamie works with the NAACP to investigate the lynching of Emmett and the pain and trauma she has to grapple with throughout the trial. Gene doesn’t want her to go to Mississippi alone, but she insists that she needs to go because she needs to bring justice to her son and make J.W. Milam and Roy Bryant, the two white men who lynched Emmett, pay for what they did. As predicted, Milam and Bryant got off scot-free and so did Roy’s wife, Carolyn. Carolyn lied while giving her testimony. She says that Emmett raped her behind the store and that he had been with white girls before, but Mamie clearly sees through this white woman’s bullshit, and so she leaves the courthouse and says she is going home to Chicago because she knows that these white people are going to get off scot-free and that the verdict is going to be that these white men were not guilty of killing Emmett. She speaks at an NAACP rally in Harlem about how the U.S. government and the Mississippi court stood idly by and did nothing to prosecute the white men who killed her son. She returns home though and remembers the life of her son, and when the movie ended I didn’t cry but I was just filled with a deep sense of anger that these men got to go off scot-free while Mamie had to deal with the grief of losing her son to a brutal lynching for the rest of her life. I had to remember though that what happened to Emmett was not an isolated incident. In my intro to Black culture class, we had an unit on the lynching of Black people in the United States, and we had to read an excerpt from a book (I cannot remember the title and frankly the excerpt is still seared into my memory, so I don’t know if I have the stomach to revisit it again) where they detailed the lynchings of Black people in graphic detail. I don’t think I slept well that night of course because all I could think about was that reading. But the reading showed me once again how dehumanizing this system of racism was to Black people and how we need to learn about it because unfortunately, the U.S.’s history was founded on ideals of freedom and justice, but in reality that freedom and justice was not granted to all people, namely Black and Indigenous peoples.

After watching this film I thought about this book I read called The New Human Revolution. In the book Daisaku Ikeda is traveling to the United States in the 1960s and he sees a young Black boy watching a group of white boys playing a game in the park and they exclude this boy because he is Black. When one of the children loses, the Black boy starts cheering and laughing. There is an older white gentleman watching the game and he cheers on the white boys, but when the Black boy started cheering, he runs up to him and started yelling at him. The boy ran away feeling rightfully angry and hurt, and Daisaku Ikeda makes a promise in his heart to the Black boy that he will build a world where this boy feels respected and loved for who he is and not looked down upon for the color of his skin. This scene really moved me because it reminded me that while the U.S. and many parts of the world have an ugly legacy of racism, I can’t give up hope. That doesn’t mean I need to be overly optimistic or simply wish away centuries of slavery, bloodshed and genocide, but I can look at reality but also envision a more hopeful future where people can respect the inherent dignity of each person’s life, and in particular the lives of the marginalized.

Even though this movie wasn’t easy to sit through, the acting is absolutely incredible. Danielle Deadwyler played Mamie Till-Mobley so well, and you can just see Mamie’s raw pain and emotion that just reverberates through her entire being when she loses her son and how she grapples with her loss and also a fucked up system of dehumanizing Black people’s lives. I got goosebumps during the end credits because they feature this powerful song by Jazmine Sullivan called “Stand Up.” I didn’t get out of my chair. I just had to sit there and process the entire experience of watching such a powerful film.

Till. 2022. 2 hr 10 min. Rated PG-13 for thematic content involving racism, strong disturbing images and racial slurs.

City of Angels (written 9/6/19)

In the city of Angels
The palm trees stand
Natural green skyscrapers
With rough hewn trunks
Skinny as poles

The hustle and bustle of traffic
New York City
Only with more mountains
People milling about
Going to the grocery store
Rushing to work
Meeting for coffee

The city of Angels
Who love to crush the sueños
Of daydreamers 
With the noisy bustle of traffic 
With the smell of smog
With the cars rushing past each other at
labyrinth intersections

Los Angeles
LA
La La Land
Whatever suits your fancy
In my mind I like to dance around
TCL Chinese Theatre
Pretending that I am dancing hand in hand
with Ms. Marilyn
As she busts out "Heat Wave"
Like there's no tomorrow

I like to think I am waltzing through celebrity 
circles at
The 98th Academy Awards at the beautiful
Dolby Theatre
Decked out specially for those who made it in
the industry
For those who didn't...well, you lost.

I like to think my life in L.A. is a classic
cinema joint
A Spike Lee hallway scene where I'm just
moving through
The city of Angels like I'm gliding on thin air
My heart soars when I think of L.A.
But the idea will go kaputz once I actually live
there
I will no longer entertain innocent dreams of
getting autographs, spending time walking
the boulevard in peace, and admiring the
stars alone with only my imagination to guide
me
Up the stairs to the Griffith Observatory
I like to think my life is one big
Beverly Hills Bel Air mansion
And that I am going to sashay down those
winding premium ivory stairs
Dressed in nothing but a bathrobe.
My hair coiffed like Marilyn
Body so knock-out that the men in their
checked suits all check me out in my 
Hourglass figurine.
I like to imaging I am the star going out
On a night on the town
Going to the LA Phil
Putting on a one of a kind show.
Then a pigeon poops on my head
And I'm knocked back to reality.
The angels all went on vacation
Now it's just The City. 

Movie List

Here is a list of movies I have watched. Some I have laughed at, others cried at and others had me on the edge of my seat. Some had me feeling all sorts of complicated emotions. I may need to balance out my steady diet of R-rated films for some G or PG ones, since most of the films on this list are R.

  1. Rent (PG-13)
  2. Hairspray (PG)
  3. Hamilton (PG-13)
  4. West Side Story (original and remake)
  5. Despicable Me (PG)
  6. Shrek (PG)
  7. Onward (PG)
  8. Ella Enchanted (PG)
  9. My Cousin Vinny (R)
  10. Juno (PG-13)
  11. Pitch Perfect (I only saw the first, haven’t seen the others) (PG-13)
  12. The Power of the Dog (R)
  13. Get Out (R)
  14. It Comes At Night (R)
  15. Titanic (PG-13)
  16. A Ghost Story (R)
  17. Milk (R)
  18. The Florida Project (R)
  19. Bridesmaids (R)
  20. The Favourite (R)
  21. 12 Years a Slave (R)
  22. Shaun the Sheep: The Movie (PG)
  23. Fences (PG-13)
  24. La La Land (PG-13)
  25. Moonlight (R)
  26. The Social Dilemma
  27. Wasted (Documentary)
  28. Booksmart (R)
  29. Frances Ha (R)
  30. Lady Bird (R)
  31. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (R)
  32. The Banshees of Inisherin (R)
  33. Everything Everywhere All At Once (R)
  34. Babel (R)
  35. Pan’s Labyrinth (R)
  36. Julieta (R)
  37. Big Fish (PG-13)
  38. Inside Llewyn Davis (R)
  39. Vice (R)
  40. City Island (PG-13)
  41. Tangled (PG)
  42. Begin Again (R)
  43. The Lighthouse (R)
  44. Roma (R)
  45. The Lobster (R)
  46. About a Boy (PG-13)
  47. The Pianist (R)
  48. Encanto (PG)
  49. BlacKkKlansman (R)
  50. Birdman (R)
  51. When Harry Met Sally (R)
  52. The Woman King (PG-13)
  53. Black Panther (PG-13)
  54. Get Smart (PG-13)
  55. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (PG)
  56. Spencer (R)
  57. Black Swan (R)
  58. The Whale (R)
  59. The Help (PG-13)
  60. Remember the Titans (PG)
  61. Can You Ever Forgive Me? (R)
  62. Uncut Gems (R)
  63. Good Time (R)
  64. I, Tonya (R)
  65. TAR (R)
  66. Freedom Writers (PG-13)
  67. Million Dollar Baby (PG-13)
  68. Ruby Sparks (R)
  69. The Big Sick (R)
  70. Zola (R)
  71. Ocean’s 8 (PG-13)
  72. Ocean’s 11 (PG-13)
  73. Harry Potter film series (PG and PG-13)
  74. Summer of Soul (PG-13)
  75. Bowling for Columbine (R)
  76. Do the Right Thing (R)
  77. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (R)
  78. Nomadland (R)
  79. Inception (PG-13)
  80. 1917 (R)
  81. Dunkirk (PG-13)
  82. Jojo Rabbit (PG-13)
  83. Mean Girls (PG-13)
  84. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (PG-13)
  85. The Edge of Seventeen (R)
  86. School of Rock (PG-13)
  87. Boyhood (R)
  88. Promising Young Woman (R)
  89. Away We Go (R)
  90. The Fabelmans (PG-13)
  91. Legally Blonde (PG-13)
  92. American Hustle (R)
  93. Julie & Julia (PG-13)
  94. Arrival (PG-13)
  95. Avatar (PG-13)
  96. Hustle & Flow (R)
  97. Save the Last Dance (PG-13)
  98. Big Eyes (PG-13)
  99. The Nightmare Before Christmas (PG)
  100. The Last King of Scotland (R)
  101. Atonement (R)
  102. The Secret Life of Bees (PG-13)
  103. Bridge of Spies (PG-13)
  104. The Iron Lady (PG-13)
  105. The Wife (R)

Daily Prompt

Daily writing prompt
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

It would be hard to get a lot of stuff done without a computer. I probably wouldn’t be able to write this blog without a laptop, but if I just had to make do, I would write on pen and paper just like the old days. I think it would have been harder in 2020 since we had an emergency in place and many if not all people were told not to go out, so many people had to rely on Zoom and other videoconferencing and online tools to communicate. But even during 2020 and before 2020, I remember writing letters to my friends and family. I probably would communicate with mostly pen and paper and the telephone if I didn’t have a computer. I definitely remember a time when I wasn’t using a computer all the time. It wasn’t until I got a little older, maybe around 10 or so, that I started getting on the computer more and playing computer games (gosh, now that I think about it, there were so many great computer games: Zoombinis, Clue Finders, Carmen Sandiego…but I’m going on a tangent.)

But I think about what people did before computers were invented, and I forget that they still somehow managed to communicate with each other through calling on the phone and writing letters, and hell, even walking to someone’s house to communicate a message. I’ve really been reflecting on my own phone and laptop usage and my own history of technology, and I really want to explore this more in depth.

Feelings

I have feelings
Everyone has feelings
We all have feelings
I feel these feelings even when I don't want
to feel these feelings
These feelings of shame, hurt, frustration, 
pain, joy, suffering, depression, confusion
All well up in the depths of my being
They come out at night and haunt me
because they feel like doing so
I am scared of these feelings
I run, race down the hall, while my feelings
come at me like a demon in the night
Like that creepy neighbor who wants nothing
to do but come at you with his knife
These feelings make my mind double over in 
pain
They make my heart race
They make me feel ungrounded
And yet also down to this God-given Earth.
I feel these feelings even when I don't want
to feel these feelings
It is painful to bear this burden as a woman, 
a Black woman, a human being
Feelings make me writhe in pain, thrust me
back to a darker time
I want to run from these feelings, run, run
run
But they grab me, twist my head, force me to
look them dead in the eyes
And dare to ice them with my solid gaze.
My feelings rip me to shreds like pulled pork
on a barbeque sandwich
I become the barbeque sandwich, a
mysterious stranger eating me alive
I look for an exit
There is none
The only thing for me to do is to embrace
those feelings
Force them to disarm themselves and force 
myself into their arms
Giving them a long warm hug
Telling them, "It's okay for me to recognize
you. You exist. I am only human and can only 
have you because that is my nature."
My feelings release tears of every emotion
you can think of.
And they finally embrace me.
I am one with my feelings
And my feelings are one with me. 

Americano (written on Sept 6, 2019)

I sit in a peaceful cafe

By the Charles River

Listening to cars belch smoke

Passerby belch lox and bagel fumes

From their tightly tucked in paunches

I order an Americano

And my beverage comes out in a neat little ceramic cup

It is dark as my heart in that cup

It feels what I’m feeling

Pain, loss, suffering, that little coffee

Knows more about my feelings than any AI

robot will ever know.

More than the tall dark and handsome server

Who serves me this edible insight into the

depths of my soul.

Movie Review: The Woman King

Last week I rented The Woman King from the library. It was honestly one of the best movies I have seen. At an awards ceremony called the BAFTAs last year, there was an actress named Ariana DeBose (she was in the Steven Spielberg remake of West Side Story, and she was on fire!) who did a really cool medley of the song “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by The Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin and Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” while dressed in a hot pink jumpsuit. She gave shout outs to many of the female directors and actors in the audience, including Dolly De Leon, Hong Chau, Ana de Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis and Michelle Yeoh. One of the lyrics of her song was “Angela Bassett did the thing/ Viola Davis, my woman king” and I didn’t appreciate the significance of this until I saw Angela Bassett as Queen Ramonda in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. I am still sad that she didn’t win the Best Supporting Actress role (of course Jamie Lee Curtis, who won the award, was great, too, in Everything Everywhere All At Once) but I still think she played her role so well. And then when I finally saw Viola Davis in The Woman King, I was like, “Oh yeah now I appreciate the song lyric “Viola Davis, my woman king.” Because after the movie, I thought, “Viola Davis is my woman king, too.” The whole film was just absolutely incredible and it was empowering to see so many Black women on the screen fighting against the patriarchy.

If you haven’t seen The Woman King, I will give a brief synopsis. It takes place in west Africa in the kingdom of Dahomey. There is an all-female unit called The Agojie who protect this kingdom and man, they don’t take prisoners. The movie literally opens with a fight scene from the get-go. A bunch of men from the rival army is sitting around a campfire, and then you see Viola Davis (rocking a mohawk) and the other Agojie women slowly creeping up upon the men from the tall fields and then they just wield their swords and weapons and fight them to the death. The women in the Agojie live in a community where they support one another, but there are rules: they cannot have sex and they cannot get married. Nanisca is the leader of the group, and she trains each and every one of the women in combat so they can be ready in battle to defend the country. Honestly, I thought it was just so dope how the king of Dahomey (played by Star Wars John Boyega) had an all-female army unit. And honestly I also just thought it was dope how there actually was an all-female army called The Agojie. There is a newcomer to the army named Nawi and she is fierce and also slightly overconfident. Nanisca trains her but also calls her out on this overconfidence and reminds her to be humble. Nanisca and Nawi’s relationship kind of reminded me of this scripture I read called The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, because a Buddhist reformer named Nichiren Daishonin had a disciple named Shijo Kingo who was a skilled doctor and also was skilled in martial arts. However, Shijo Kingo also got in trouble with the lord of his estate because he was always getting in fights and had a short temper. Nichiren always told him in his letters to maintain his composure and always be on his guard since Shijo was at risk of losing his estate for practicing the Daishonin’s Buddhism. There is a letter in particular that I really love called “The Eight Winds,” where Nichiren admonishes Kingo about losing his temper and at the end of the letter he tells him to not be moved by anger, greed or fame. Nanisca is strict with Nawi because she sees so much potential in her and she also sees her as a daughter (there is a twist but no spoilers here).

The movie also somehow made me think of the movie Women Talking. If you haven’t seen Women Talking, it is about an isolated Mennonite community of women who have suffered from sexual abuse at the hands of the men in the colony for decades and they are planning whether to fight, stay or leave the colony. They meet in secret, and each woman recounts the trauma she has suffered at the hands of these men, and the only man in the group, August, is truly an ally to these women because he had such a strong female role model who encouraged him to respect women. The women in the Agojie have also suffered trauma and pain, and in one scene Nanisca comes face to face with the king of the Oye army and she freezes because he assaulted her when she was younger, and so throughout the film I saw how Nanisca had to heal from this incredibly painful trauma and the painful process she went through to heal, and how she finally overcomes her fear and gets back her own power after the king took it from her.

If you ever get to rent the movie, I would check out the special features. They talk about the making of the movie, and I got to learn more about Gina Prince-Bythewood’s filmmaking process (she is the director of The Woman King). I got to also hear the actors’ take on the film and the process they went through to make the movie. Viola Davis has starred in so many great films. She stars in the film adaptation of playwright August Wilson’s Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and she plays Gertrude “Ma” Rainey, who has a powerful voice and demands respect from the white music executives who are trying to exploit her music for profit. A lot of Black artists at the time didn’t get credit for their work or the pay they deserved, so Ma Rainey had to be assertive. Honestly I was just so fascinated hearing the actors talk about their acting process, and there is another feature where the actress who plays Nawi, Thuso Mbedu, is auditioning for the role of Nawi.

The trailer is also phenomenal. It made me want to see the movie. I also love the song “MY POWER” from Beyonce’s visual album Black is King.

The Woman King. 2022. Action/ Drama. 2 h 15 m. Directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood. Rated PG-13 for sequences of strong violence, some disturbing material, thematic content, brief language and partial nudity.

Technology- written 6/12/2019

She sits on the park bench

Glued to her phone

The lone person in the world

Who can hold a human conversation without

looking down

At a screen that causes her neck damage

Tries to start a conversation with the technology zombie

The technology brontosaurus craning its

neck

to see how skilled this girl is

Her fingers flying as she scores big at Candy Crush

Her intense focus like that of a soloist

in Carnegie Hall

Playing Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto by

memory.

Hi

No response

How are you

Looks up–Good–then eyes back down

Isn’t it a peaceful day?

Uh-huh

You should enjoy it more

How

By getting off your technological device.

The gamer looks up

But for a short while

Shrugs her shoulders

Then goes back to her own little world

Caring little that this lone conversationalist

Once spoke with two leaders of the free

world

To abolish nuclear weapons

She sits here thinking about that dialogue

Reminiscing about how important it was

To sit

Face somebody

And communicate.

The Tour (screenplay, continued)

The camera cuts to the next scene. Interior, Natalie’s room, 9:00 AM, Sunday. Natalie’s iPhone alarm goes off. She grabs it.

Natalie: Oh, fuck off.

She throws her feet out of bed and proceeds to turn off the annoying alarm. She then goes back to sleep because she feels that her dreams are hopeless. She nearly gags and tries to hold back the vomit that threatens to escape from her mouth, and ends up throwing up on her rug. Natalie’s makeup is stained and black eyeliner is melting off of her face. She is a complete mess and doesn’t have her life together.

A loud rap on the door sounds. Natalie ignores it, thinking it’s some solicitor trying to sell her something. The loud rap sounds again and it sounds like African drums beating.

Natalie: Oh, for fuck’s sake.

She opens the door to find Desiree and Alisha standing at her doorstep with their instruments. Desiree is holding her viola and Alisha is holding her cello. Behind them is Desiree’s car, a beat-up Volkswagen van. Natalie is still groggy.

Natalie: What are you guys doing here?

Desiree then erupts in laughter.

Desiree: We’re going on tour, remember?

Natalie rubs her eyes.

Alisha: Are you hungover, Natalie? I can make you a recipe for hangovers. My grandma swears by it.

Natalie: Oh, thanks, but no thanks. Maybe I should get my clothes on.

Desiree gets this mischievous look in her eyes and pretends to be surprised and impressed by Alisha’s idea.

Desiree: Oh, no, Alisha is right. Let’s hang out at your place for a little bit, shall we?

Natalie, rubbing her eyes: Is all your stuff in the car?

Desiree: Um yeah. You told us to pack all our shit, remember?

Natalie: Guys, I had a rough night, I’m sorry.

Alisha grabs both of their hands.

Alisha: We can have a heart to heart over some breakfast.

A frying pan sizzles on Natalie’s stove with bacon and sunny side up eggs. Alisha whistles while she whips up the eggs and bacon. Natalie is sitting at the table, eyes shut tight to ward off the migraine from her hangover.

Desiree: Did you call your boss yet? I called mine this morning.

Natalie looks up with a groggy look in her eyes.

Natalie: No. Maybe I should cancel this tour. We don’t have money and all we have are our instruments and a beat up bus from the Woodstock movement.

Desiree slaps Natalie’s arm.

Desiree: Hey! That’s some sacred shit. My parents got it for their anniversary at Woodstock. It would be a keepsake by today’s standards.

Natalie rolls her eyes, then sips coffee from a Vote for Pedro mug she got from her cupboard.

Alisha: Order up for hangover cure!

She sets three plates on the table. The three eat their breakfast in silence.

Desiree: So are we going on this tour or not?

Natalie: I said no.

Alisha looks up, confused.

Alisha: But you promised.

Natalie: We don’t have any money.

Desiree: You should have some money from work.

Natalie: Do you think my rent, gas, utilities and groceries pay for themselves?

She takes another sip of coffee.

Alisha: I can pitch in.

Natalie: I’m fine, but thanks for your help.

Alisha: Well, how are we going to pay for gas? Food? Any instrument repairs?

Alisha is now very worried.

Natalie is getting exasperated.

Natalie: I told you, the trip is cancelled.

Desiree: I was actually excited about this trip. She shurgs and grabs a mug from Natalie’s cupboard. This one says “I hate Mondays” and has a Grumpy Cat meme on it. She pours herself some coffee.

Desiree: So are you going to call your boss or not?

Alisha turns to look at Natalie in silence, waiting for her answer. Natalie sighs.

Natalie: Ok, but this is going to have consequences.

Desiree: You’re the one who wanted to take us on this trip. Just call your boss and be done with it.

Natalie dials the number of the coffee shop.

The phone rings as the scene cuts to the coffee shop. Natalie’s coworkers Rob answers the phone.

Rob: Sunny Lane Coffee Shop, this is Rob speaking.

Natalie: Hey Rob, it’s Natalie.

Rob: Oh, hey, Nat. What’s up?

Natalie: Is Megan here? I need to talk to her.

Rob: Nah dude, she’s visiting family in Vegas for the weekend. I can give her a message though when she gets back. What’s up?

Natalie pauses, the produces a fake cough from her throat.

Natalie: I’m sick. She feigns more coughing. Desiree and alisha stifle giggles.

Rob: Oh man, I’m sorry. Yrah, it’s been going around. I can just tell her, I’m sure she’ll be cool with it. Take off as much time as you need.

Natalie: Thanks, Rob. I owe you one.

Rob: Don’t mention it.

Natalie ends the call.

Desiree: Well, what did he say?

Alisha gives her the same earnest look she gave earlier.

Natalie: We’re going on tour!

All three of these ladies whoop and cheer. and start hugging each other.

Alisha: Let’s vamos!

Natalie runs up the stairs, almost tripping because she is giddy with excitement.

Desiree: I call shotgun, bitches!

Screen cuts to Natalie’s room. She is packing her suitcase with the utmost passion and speed, while the song “Heads Will Roll” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays. She rolls up her clothes in the style of Marie Kondo because she has spent the last few months depressed and how she copes is by watching Marie Kondo. She then packs up all of her sheet music, her folding music stand and her violin. She hurries to the car, Alisha and Desiree waiting for her.

Alisha: Instruments?

Natalie and Desiree: Check.

Alisha: Snacks?

Natalie and Desiree: Check.

Alisha: House keys in case we come back.

Natalie: We’re not leaving America, Alisha. Chill.

Alisha: I don’t care. What if the smoke alarm goes off?

Alisha does a final check to make sure the oven is off and all doors and windows are locked so that no one breaks in while they are gone.

Alisha: We’re officially doing it guys! We’re going on our very own tour, no managers, no nothing!

Desiree: And with no money.

Alisha sighs.

Alisha: You and your sarcasm cannot be friends with me on this trip.

Desiree turns to Alisha and shrugs.

Desiree: Get used to it. It’s in my nature.

The screen cuts to when they are on the road. Ginuwine’s “Pony” is playing on the radio. They start singing along. The music is blasted full volume and Alisha is covering her ears while Desiree belts out the lyrics.

Alisha: MAYBE WE SHOULD TURN THAT DOWN?!? I CAN’T HEAR SIRI WHEN YOU ARE BLASTING MUSIC SO LOUDLY!!

Desiree: THEN TURN SIRI UP LOUDER!

Alisha: I CAN’T! THIS IS ABOUT AS LOUD AS SHE WILL GO!

Natalie, who is driving, turns off the radio.

Desiree: Damn it, Natalie! You just cut off one of the most defining songs in the lives of a defining generation.

Natalie ignores Desiree and keeps driving.

Natalie: Alisha, how long before we get to our first destination?

Alisha looks down at her phone.

Alisha: Um, it says about an hour.

Desiree: Is there a rest stop anywhere?

Alisha calls from the backseat (she is sitting on the left side and her cello is sitting on the right side): You should have used it before we left the house!

Desiree: I have a tiny bladder!

Alisha: Go pee on the side of the road.

Desiree: Fuck no! You think I want some perv driving up to see me without my pants on?

Natalie: There’s no one here, I highly doubt anyone is going to care.

Desiree frowns and then her face lights up.

Desiree: Guys! We’re approaching a gas station.

Natalie sees the gas station ahead of them, but there are only a few cars there.

Natalie: This doesn’t look safe.

Desiree bounces up and down in her chair.

Desiree: For fuck’s sake. I really have to go!

Natalie pulls into the gas station.

Desiree runs out and rushes into the convenience store. There is Muzak playing inside. The scene cuts back to the car.

Natalie: She had better make it quick.

Desiree finds the woman’s bathroom is closed for maintenance and runs into the men’s bathroom without a second thought. She walks past a guy urinating and does her business. She then comes out of the store, only to find Natalie and Alisha being held at gunpoint by a group of perverts.

Desiree: What the fuck?

The first pervert: Come with us.

Desiree: What is going on?

The second pervert: We wanted to ask you pretty ladies the same question. What are three sexy women like you roaming about the open road for?

Desiree: None of your business.

The first pervert: It will be my business when I blow your brains out.

He aims his gun at Desiree’s chest.

Desiree sighs, then explains: We’re musicians and we’re going on a tour.

The third pervert is against Alisha and leers: A tour?

Desiree stammers because she doesn’t want her friends to get killed.

Desiree: Yes. We’re string musicians and we failed our audition, so we decided to go on a road trip and play anywhere we can find money to pay for our gas and food and…

The first pervert: Well, maybe ou want to see your first venue? Or this right here could be the last venue you ever get to see in your life.

Natalie cringes as the gun continues to linger on her cheek.

Desiree panics, which is so uncharacteristic of her at the beginning because she comes off as this super tough-as-nails girl who doesn’t take crap from anyone.

Desiree: Can I ask something> Where are we?

The first pervert: Tucson, Arizona, baby.

His eyes linger on her chest. Desiree gives him a disgusted look.

Desiree: Okay, where are you going to take us?

The first pervert: Get your things from your car and we’ll show you. Let’s make a deal though. If you do what we say, exactly what we say, we will drive you back to the gas station so you pretty ladies can be on your merry way down the road. Does that sound good to you?

His breath reeks of whsiskey and cheap cigarettes, and the smell of it against her nose makes Desiree want to vomit. The pervert puts out his hand for Desiree to shake. She glances at first and then shakes hands with the guy. He pulls her close to him and fondles her butt.

The pervert: It’s so nicely shaped. I wonder what it looks like without anything on it.

With the three perverts trailing them with their guns, Natalie, Desiree and Alisha go to the car and grab their instruments.

The second pervert: And you won’t be needing any clothes, ladies. We’ve got the perfect outfits for you.

The scene cuts to a strip club. The inside is purple and there is loud hip hop music blasting from the loudspeakers as a tall woman wearing nothing but a G-string and red patent leather Louboutin heels grinds and twirls on a pole. The scene cuts to the dressing room, where Desiree, Natalie and Alisha sit completely naked except for each of them wearing pasties and high heels. Natalie looks around at all of the women in the dressing room getting ready. They are all wearing pasties and thongs. Some of them smoke cigarettes, others gossip, and some drink beer. They all look at these three women with their instruments like they just walked off of Planet Mars. They haven’t seen string players in a strip club before.

Natalie: Does everyone have their stands?

Desiree and Alisha raise their stands so Natalie can see.

Alisha: What’s our first piece?

Natalie String Trio in G Major, Opus 9, No. 1 by Ludwig Van Beethoven.

Deesiree: Are these mofos going to even know who that is?

Natalie sighs and rolls her eyes.

Natalie: Unless you want these dudes to blow our brains out, then they’re just gonna have to find out who Beethoven is.

One of the strippers walks up to them and laughs while taking a drag on her cigarette She is a tall woman with platinum blonde hair and brown eyes.

Stripper: Well, look at who the cat dragged in. This is so adorable! Hey, Tricia, they got us some performahs!

Everyone in the room laughs, and some of them just give dirty looks to Desiree, Natalie and Alisha.

The Announcer: And now, on the center stage, is our first ever string trio. Give it up for our lovely ladies!

Stripper: Breaka leg.

She snorts and walks away. The loud blaring music stops over the loudspeakers so that Natalie, Desiree, and Alisha can perform their music without other music interfering with it.

Alisha turns pale. She looks like she is going to vomit. Desiree gives her dagger eyes.

Desiree: You’d better not fuck this up for us by puking.

Alisha cowers.

Alisha: I know. I’m trying.

The three of them walk onstage, and immediately everyone in the audience jeers. Desiree gives dagger eyes to Natalie.

Alisha: Guys, it’s chills. I don’t have any clothes on. I just want to go home.

Natalie: Maybe this was a bad idea…

Desiree: Well, we’re on tour now. Get used to it.

They set up their stands on the stage and then tune an A. They each tune their strings. The audience continues to pay very little attention to them, milling about while eating and drinking. They then look at each other, and then play. Everyone turns to look and even the waitresses stop serving people for a moment to turn and look at these women playing. The three perverts are sitting backstage, waiting for them to get off, but even they are moved by the music. Everyone is moved to tears, and before they know it, the audience members are throwing dollar bills on the stage at them. People whistle and cheer for them.

Natalie smiles, but then she sees the first pervert motion with the crook of his finger for them to go. She turns to exit and then he mouths to her “Grab the money!” and so she, Desiree and Alisha all grab the money and make for it, nervously giving bows to the audience, their legs shaking. At first they don’t have the energy to bow before the audience, but it’s in their orchestra training. They hurry past the other strippers, who applaud them, and one of them, the stripper who jeered at them earlier, lightly touches Natalie on the shoulder and gives her her business card.

Stripper: Let us know when you’re in town again. Here’s my card. Call me.

Natalie: Sure, thanks.

She is still shaking because she just played her first nude concert. Hell, even Desiree is shaking and Desiree isn’t afraid of anything. Alisha goes outside and vomits on the side of the road. The three perverts hurry them into the car. There is silence.

The first pervert: Can you guys sleep with us? Talented musicians such as yourselves deserve good men like us. Come, we’ll take you back to our place.

Natalie: No, you promised you would take us back to our van.

The first pervert looks at hem, and then his lip curls.

The first pervert: Okay, but we will get at least a half of the cuts.

Desiree: For what?

Desiree is incredulous. How dare these guys try to take half of their pay when they just played the most humiliating concert of their lives!

The first pervert: Look, we’re struggling, too, okay? My wife and my kids are struggling…

Desiree: The fuck, dude!?! Why the fuck are a bunch of shitty guys like you hitting on us women for?

The first pervert: I guess it’s human nature to crave pleasurable things. Also we gave you sluts a ride, so pay up because it’s gas money, and gas ain’t getting any cheaper in this country as we know it.

Natalie: Just give him half the cut, D. I just want to go in our car and sleep.

Desiree rolls her eyes, then starts counting the money. When she has counted half of the money they have earned, she pays up. The first pervert grabs the money from their hands wthout so much as a glare, not even a “thanks.”

The first pervert: Now get out. And take your shit with you.

The car drives off, leaving the girls with their instruments and still no clothes on.

Alisha: At least we have our clothes in the car.

They go in the car and sleep.

(to be continued…)