This weekend I tried to cram in more Oscar nominated movies. One of these nominees was the film Past Lives. I love A24 movies so when I saw the trailer I was really excited to see this. At first, I didn’t think I recognized Greta Lee from anything, but then I remembered she was in a sketch on Inside Amy Schumer I watched a long time ago called “Compliments.” In the sketch, a bunch of women have a hard time taking compliments from each other and when one of their friends actually can take a compliment, it makes them feel bad about themselves. I just remember resonating so much with this sketch because whenever people would give me compliments, I didn’t think I deserved them. I’m developing more confidence in myself so I think I am getting better, but I used to be terrible at it. I would say things like, “Oh, no, I’m not that smart” and then people would have to assure me, “No, no, you are smart.” I think eventually they got tired of me putting myself down, and eventually I realized I needed to seek that affirmation from within rather than always relying on it from outside. I really loved Greta in that sketch; she was hilarious.
Anyway, back to the movie Past Lives. It’s about a young woman named Nora and a young man named Hae Sung who reconnect after years spent apart. Nora and Hae Sung grew up in South Korea together and they became very close, but then Nora and her family moved to Canada and her and Hae Sung lost touch. Nora and Hae Sung reconnect over Skype later on in life and they remember the times they shared and catch up, and they fall in love all over again. However, the distance puts a strain on their relationship and Nora says they should stop talking to each other. Nora goes to a writer’s workshop and falls in love with a white guy named Arthur, who is also a writer, and they get married and move to New York City. Hae Sung is dating someone else, but he still loves Nora and thinks about her a lot, so he comes to America to visit her. They reconnect over their past lives together.
Honestly, watching this movie was kind of an emotional experience for me. I didn’t cry, but I still felt this huge emotional pull throughout the film. It kind of resonated with me because I fell in love with one of my friends during my time in college and I think he liked me, too. But we never became a couple, and he ended up with someone else. I reconnected with him again a few years ago, and thought he wasn’t seeing anyone but then he told me he was seeing someone and was getting married. It was a pretty tough time because I wanted to respect him being in a relationship already, but I was still holding onto this idea that he and I were going to be a couple together. I think chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo helped because it reminded me to not feel worthless just because I didn’t end up with this person. I didn’t move on right away, but over time I realized that I had goals and dreams I was putting on the backburner for love and that wasn’t okay, so I decided to take my writing dreams more seriously and I think over time I started to just respect that we were friends and nothing more.
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