I have feelings Everyone has feelings We all have feelings I feel these feelings even when I don't want to feel these feelings These feelings of shame, hurt, frustration, pain, joy, suffering, depression, confusion All well up in the depths of my being They come out at night and haunt me because they feel like doing so I am scared of these feelings I run, race down the hall, while my feelings come at me like a demon in the night Like that creepy neighbor who wants nothing to do but come at you with his knife These feelings make my mind double over in pain They make my heart race They make me feel ungrounded And yet also down to this God-given Earth. I feel these feelings even when I don't want to feel these feelings It is painful to bear this burden as a woman, a Black woman, a human being Feelings make me writhe in pain, thrust me back to a darker time I want to run from these feelings, run, run run But they grab me, twist my head, force me to look them dead in the eyes And dare to ice them with my solid gaze. My feelings rip me to shreds like pulled pork on a barbeque sandwich I become the barbeque sandwich, a mysterious stranger eating me alive I look for an exit There is none The only thing for me to do is to embrace those feelings Force them to disarm themselves and force myself into their arms Giving them a long warm hug Telling them, "It's okay for me to recognize you. You exist. I am only human and can only have you because that is my nature." My feelings release tears of every emotion you can think of. And they finally embrace me. I am one with my feelings And my feelings are one with me.
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