Movie Review: Black Swan

February 10, 2019

For those who haven’t seen the film, Black Swan is a thriller directed by Darren Aronofsky about a kind-hearted ballerina named Nina Sayers (played by Natalie Portman) who auditions for the lead role of the Swan Queen. She starts off by being nice and not engaging in the competitiveness of his fellow ballerinas, but as the film progresses she lets her ego take over as she tries to be both the innocent pure White Swan and the dark twisted Black Swan simultaneously. She thinks another ballerina, Lily (Mila Kunis), is out to steal her part as the Black Swan, so she goes to great lengths to beat Lily and please Thomas, her teacher.

I read a parents guide on Kids in Mind and a Wikipedia plot summary before seeing the film because I frankly don’t enjoy scary things that jump out or happen suddenly on screen, even though I know deep down that reading these guides kills the fun of the movie. However, even when I closed my eyes at all the gruesome creepy parts I had plenty to ruminate about after the film. In fact, the end credits add to the overall darkness of this psychological horror film because it’s a cream-white background but with black feathers representing Nina’s role as The Black Swan. After you realize how much Nina destroyed herself to become the lead role of the Swan Queen, you’ll need to wait until the end credits are actually finished to actually take a deep breath of relief. Because the white and black contrast of the end credits against the sounds of Peter Tchaikovsky’s ominous Swan Lake Overture are beautiful but unsettling when you remember that the film is overall very dark.

Because I’m still trying to digest the 1 hour and 40-ish minutes of the film (I don’t really want to look up the actual time because then I’d have to see a photo of Natalie Portman’s gorgeous yet haunting glare at the viewer in the film poster), here are just a few of my jumbled thoughts about it. I have never binge-watched so many episodes of Brooklyn 99 in my life, but after seeing Black Swan I needed to see something humorous. While I loved the cinematography and the acting, I had to convince myself of just that: that it was just acting. Because it felt very real. As scary as it was to watch Natalie Portman destroy herself (which is why I was hesitant at first about seeing the movie) her acting is incredible, and so is Mila Kunis and the other actors’ performances. And the music score, speaking as a classical musician, was amazing.

First and foremost, the film has a pretty harsh reality check for any perfectionists out there (speaking for myself). Nina goes into the office of her teacher, Thomas, and asks for the Swan Queen role. He then tells her he gave it to another ballerina and tells her to leave. She then tells him she just wants to be perfect. He then tells her that he doesn’t care about her technique and that perfect performance isn’t just about technique but about losing yourself in the role and letting go. He tells her embodying both the White and Black Swan is hard because the Black Swan would require Nina to lose touch with herself. However, it’s important to not take what he says to heart, because honestly speaking this dude (yes, I called Vincent Cassel’s character a “dude”) is a creep and forcibly kisses Nina in his office. This reminded me of allegations against various orchestra conductors who put their students on a pedestal while abusing them in silence. Thomas also manipulates Nina into taking him literally. While Lily, Nina’s colleague, gets to have fun and go out with friends while still holding Thomas’s attention, Nina is constantly tortured by the idea that Lily would replace her.

I was thinking, this is just a movie, this isn’t supposed to be a documentary about ballerinas, it’s all fiction, but I wanted to find real-life experiences by ballerinas that shattered the Nina stereotype. I immediately remembered a friend and I were talking about Misty Copeland’s story. For those unfamiliar with Misty Copeland, she became the first Black woman to be the principal ballet dancer of the American Ballet Theatre in 2015, and has encouraged so many girls and young women, particularly women of color. Misty Copeland, in an interview with Elle, says that she started later than other ballerinas but that she believes it is her mission to encourage young girls to develop positive self-esteem because of the deeply ingrained stigma associated with the classical ballet sphere.

In Copeland’s words,

“I’m such a late bloomer. Having been in the company for as long as I’ve been, and having been promoted at this stage– I think that it’s been hard for me to accept that I belong here, that I’m good enough. Maybe it’s just that I’m so exhausted and I’m 35 now and it was my breaking point, but I believe that I deserve to be here. The power that I have in bringing people to the ballet, and for what I represent– I don’t need to be working like a slave. I can say no to certain things and decide to do something else that will enrich who I am.” (“Misty Copeland is Pirouetting Her Way to Disney Fame.” Sophie Brickman, Sept. 19 2018. Elle.com)

Misty recognizes that it’s important to not compare yourself to others, and in fact encourages young ballerinas to be passionate about what they do and to have fun. This is just my perspective, but Black Swan made it seem that in order to be a good performer, one must close themselves off from the real world and focus on being better than other performers. This is an unrealistic and unhealthy way of approaching art. Most of the successful musicians, artists and dancers I have encountered over the years have told me to have fun, not compare myself to others and just appreciate the fact that I’m even playing an instrument. Thomas makes it seem like Nina has to give up her sense of self in order to become the best, but him telling her this only leads Nina to destroy herself physically, emotionally and psychologically, and it has a severe impact on her relationships with others.

There is a particular scene in which Nina is rehearsing alone late at night with the pianist, and he finally gets up and leaves. When she tells him to stay and rehearse with her, he tells her “I have a life” and that she herself should get rest instead of staying up late rehearsing. Nina’s mom tells her to get sleep instead of going out for drinks with Lily, and I agree with her (then again, if Nina didn’t go out with Lily and get drinks, the film would be way shorter than 1 hour and 48 minutes.) Countless scientific studies have shown that taking time for ourselves actually helps us perform better. My cello teacher even encourages me to take breaks in between practice sessions so I don’t risk burning out while playing my instrument. I learned the hard way a few years ago about the importance of taking time to care for my mind, body and soul, but the harsh lesson I learned was worth it because I realized how little I cared for my own life. I was obsessing over my musical success without taking care of my mental health, seeing therapy and spending time with loved ones. Even while practicing all of these difficult cello pieces, I know that I need to take a break after 20-40 minutes or so to just stretch, meditate, read, or watch a funny Drunk History episode. Because, like the pianist told Nina, “I have a life.”

I would argue that Nina’s constant comparing herself to her peers and her driven perfectionism hurt her more than help her succeed. In fact, in today’s world of the performing arts, the hard truth is that you can practice all you want to get every note perfect, but you have to do other stuff to balance it out. There have been many times when I have literally destroyed myself in order to play a perfect audition, and I only ended up closing off my friends, family and peers in the process because I was so focused on getting everything perfectly. I ended up losing out on things I enjoy, such as reading for fun, and ended up isolating myself for days at a time. Having mental illness is not fun. Being a tortured artist isn’t beautiful or cute. It’s painful and you’ve got to learn to love yourself first so that you can appreciate your career and the people who helped you along the way.

At the end of the day, no one cares if you did things perfectly. A performance is just that, a performance. Yes, work hard, give it your all, but please love yourself and encourage yourself in the process. Everyone just wants to see something done from the heart. After the film, I had all these heavy feelings, but I had to remember that the film, as it says in the end credits, is a work of fiction and that the characters are fictional. While I am not a ballerina and can’t speak to ballerina’s experiences, I can’t assume that the way ballet is depicted in the film speaks for every ballerina’s experience, such as Misty Copeland’s experience where she found healthy work-life balance. It might have some truth, but for the most part I had to take the film with a grain of salt and just watch it as it was. I think doing this helped me get over the heaviness of the film, although it is one of those movies that I watched and don’t think I can watch again because it really is scary. Although, I must say, this post is a much better critique of the film than mine because it comes from someone who actually is a ballerina and calls out many of the ways in which the film wrongly portrays the lives of ballerinas. Also, there’s a brilliant Saturday Night Live parody of the film, and I have seen it at least a thousand times and cannot stop laughing. Jim Carrey, as always, is brilliant. 🙂

Black Swan. 1 hr 48 min. Rated R for some sexual content, disturbing violent images, language and some drug use.